Better To Have Loved
by nancystagerat
Summary: A series of drabbles celebrating the love of Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks, aiming to prove that despite all odds, it is indeed better to have loved another than to never love at all. Pre-OotP through DH.
1. Beginnings

_Beginnings_

A petite, purple-haired witch trips her way into Number Twelve, and Remus, ever the gentleman, offers a steadying arm.

"Thanks." She straightens herself, brushing off imaginary dust before fixing her attention on him.

"Wotcher! I don't believe we've met." The hand she thrusts out for a shake makes direct contact instead with the bric-a-brac on the side table. She winces before they even hit the floor.

"SHAPESHIFTING MUDBLOOD FILTH! HOW DARE YOU BREAK THINGS IN THE NOBLE AND MOST—"

Remus yanks Mrs. Black's heavy curtains shut and offers his hand, giving the shaken young witch a sideways smile. "Nice to meet you, Shapeshifting Mudblood Filth. I'm the Werewolf-in-Residence."

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**A/N: Why, hello! Bet you didn't expect to see me again, did you? Anyway, my aim is for this fic to be a sort of sequel to my previous piece "Unconditional." I really love this kind of drabble-format, and it will end up being (hopefully) 100 chapters in total. I'm planning on posting each little piece as I finish them, so with any luck it shouldn't be too long between installments. I hope you enjoy the ride!**


	2. Strangers

_Strangers_

Her muscles stand out like cords of rope under her skin, straining with the effort of keeping control. The months since he'd left have made themselves painfully clear in the small bump growing beneath her shirt.

"Tonks, I—"

"'You' what? I don't even know who you are."

Remus shrinks under the quiet violence in those words. "Tonks, please, let me explain..."

There are hot tears streaking her pale cheeks, and he knows he is defeated before she speaks.

"The Remus I knew was past all that nonsense about doing what's 'best' for me. His _being here_ was what I needed!" One hand rests on her belly, and it nearly rips his insides to shreds. "And he's left me."

Her voice breaks, but she does not look away. "Get out."

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**A/N: Bit of an about-face there, eh? In case anyone was wondering, the drabbles posted will _not_ be in chronological order. The inspiration for the set came from looking through a shoebox full of photos all jumbled together, and that's the sort of feel I'd like to give _Better To Have Loved_. Hope you all liked this installment, and I'd love to hear what you liked/disliked about it!**


	3. Breakfast

_Breakfast_

Remus had never been one for coffee, and shoots the paper cup in his hands a disapproving glare.

"You tricked me."

Mirth sparkles in her dark eyes as she throws back what's left of her espresso. "We've got a long day ahead of us. Can't have you falling asleep on the job, can we?"

"There's caffeine in tea!"

"For Merlin's sake, Remus, just _try_ it! I got you a latte, it's sweet. I even had them put whipped cream and chocolate syrup in it. You can't put chocolate in tea."

He looks from Tonks to the cup and back again, highly skeptical, especially in light of the knowing smirk plastered across her face.

"It's from Honeyduke's. How bad could it be, right?" She plucks it from his hands and takes a sip, for good measure.

Tentatively he takes it back, flicking his unconvinced gaze at her - she's grinning over the edge of her violent green scarf – and takes a ginger sip.


	4. Too Much

_Too Much_

He wakes alone, cold without her warmth tucked close against him.

Rising, he finds her wedged into the corner of the sofa, muffled sobs shaking the small body curled protectively around her very pregnant belly. A grey owl sits on the table beside her, its message clutched in her hand. In an instant she is pulled into his arms, held tight as he tries to soothe the tears away.

"I can't do this, Remus. I can't bring a child into a world like this, into a war, into this _family_—" She swallows, buries her face in his shoulder. "They want me dead, I'll get him killed, Bellatrix alone is too much a threat…"

He whispers to her, tries to allay their shared fears. "Tonks, sweetheart, we'll keep him safe. We're stronger than her. Nothing can touch him here. We can protect him—"

"My dad is dead!" She throws the note across the room, wraps her arms tighter around herself. Her breaths are heavy, rattling, painful, before she says, more quietly, "Mum sent word." Her tears leave warm, wet spots on his skin. "If the Death Eaters could find him, how much harder could it be to find us?"

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**A/N: I have no idea how Tonks finds out her father's been killed. I just felt this might be a logical way she'd get notified. As always, I'd love to know what you think! Reviewers get their very own Remus who'll whisper soothing words to you to chase your fears away :3 **


	5. Hours

_Hours_

Laughter rings through the early morning, reverberating through the somber halls of Grimmauld Place. Halls that Sirius would've liked to _remain_ somber, at least until seven AM.

"_Don't you two ever shut up?_" he asks, squinting through the glare of the kitchen light to the pair at the table. Tonks and Remus look from each other to Sirius and back again; how long had it been since he'd left to go to bed?

"Sorry, mate," Remus offers, scratching absently at the back of his neck, "Must've lost track of time."

"_Lost track of time?!_ It's four in the morning!"

Tonks ticks off the hours on her fingers; Sirius had gone upstairs at eleven. "We'll shut up, we promise," she laughs, looking altogether too much like a child trying to lie her way out of trouble. "Go back to sleep." With that, Sirius tromps, grumbling, back up the kitchen steps.

As soon as he's out of sight Remus leans in close and whispers with mischievous lips against her ear, "Better he walk in now than on what we were doing at…two-ish, give or take a few minutes?"


	6. Parents

_Parents_

His first meeting with the Tonkses is not the awkward dinner invite he'd been expecting.

Remus had not left Tonks's side ever since she'd been wheeled, unconscious, into a small room in the Spell Damage ward of St. Mungo's. She is battered and bruised, with blood in some places seeping through the bandages, but in one piece. And alive. More so than Bellatrix would have allowed, had she not been distracted –Remus fights off a wave of gut-wrenching grief – by Sirius.

He is holding her hand, head and arms leaning on the bed, when a sharp-featured, anxious woman he could guess to be Andromeda Black rushes in, followed by a rather shorter but no less worried man who could only be Ted Tonks. Remus stands up and drops Tonks' hand, unsure of how well her parents would take to that small display of affection.

Andromeda smoothes Tonks' pink hair from the bandage across her forehead, then turns her attention to Remus. Her frightened mother's eyes, still sharp and appraising despite their wrenching fear, bore into him like knives.

"What happened to her?"


	7. Fall

_Fall_

The pair sits on the front steps of Grimmauld, a once-comfortable silence growing more and more oppressive by the moment. The September night is chilly and Tonks fidgets with her cloak, tries to dislodge the edge from beneath her without elbowing Remus or knocking over the two half-full bottles of Butterbeer beside them. Before she can manage either, he pulls her under the warm cover of his arm.

She shivers anyway.

"Something the matter?" he asks, and starts to take his arm away.

"No!" Tonks answers too quickly. "I mean…no, it's fine. Thanks." His arm stays, to her relief, comfortably draped about her shoulders. She scuffs at the red and orange leaves at her feet.

They sit in silence for another few age-long minutes. She can't look at him. Too nervous.

"Remus?" Her voice is small, he notes. Fearful.

"Hmm?"

"Would you hate me very much if…if I said I wanted..." she swallows, "...to kiss you?"

The few seconds' pause is almost more than she can take. Her face flames. She should get up, go inside and find somewhere to hide the blush that just won't morph out of her cheeks—

His arm around her tightens, and when he speaks his voice is velvet-soft.

"Would you hate _me_ if I asked to kiss you back?"

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**A/N: I had fun with this one :3 I like to think Tonks was the initiator in their relationship, albeit a little anxious about it. Thanks again for reading ^_^ Will sell my soul for feedback!**

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	8. Orange

_Orange_

It's a rare occasion when Tonks has a spare hour to waste, and this time she's determined to enjoy wasting it with the youngest of the Weasleys.

"Tonks, can I ask you something?"

"Shoot, kiddo," Tonks says past the sparkly purple hairbrush clamped in her teeth, separating Ginny's copper locks of hair.

"How did you know you were in love with Professor Lupin?"

The hairbrush falls from Tonks' mouth. It takes a conscious effort to keep the blush from creeping up her neck. "How long have you known?"

"Since the end of last summer."

Tonks supposes she shouldn't be surprised. She and Remus _had_ been rather attached to each other, and Ginny _was _the most astute of her siblings…

She sighs, chews on a lock of violent pink hair. "I didn't know. I don't know. I mean, I _do_ know I love Remus, but I don't reckon I ever had an epiphany about it. Sorry, that doesn't really help at all, does it?"

Ginny shakes her head, bottom lip caught in her teeth.

Tonks plants her hands on Ginny's shoulders. "If this is about Harry, don't you worry about him. He's over the moon for you – he just doesn't realize it yet." Ginny nods and Tonks smiles to herself; _over the moon_…sums things up quite nicely, doesn't it?

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**A/N: For my purposes, this drabble takes place in early June, just before the start of HBP. Tonks and Remus would still be trying to keep their relationship on the DL, but will have been together long enough to know it's definitely. love. Also, ever since that line in one of the books when Tonks changed her hair to red and "looked like she could be ginny's older sister," I've had the idea that as they're both strong-willed young women, and Hermione's always too busy with Ron and Harry, that Tonks and Ginny would have the opportunity to become realtively close. Ginny could use a sister figure. As always, hope you like! Will bribe with cookies for feedback :3**


	9. White

_White_

The patronus he knows she conjured on nights it felt too hard to spend alone.

The moon she slowly taught him not to fear.

The single rose he left on her pillow one evening.

The sheets on his bed, their first time.

Her skin under his fingers, bathed in pale moonlight as their bodies twine together.

And now the color of the simple dress draped over her body, falling in graceful fluid folds down to her knees.

White is all colors at once, bright like the woman standing so very impossibly before him, holding his hands, smiling up into his eyes.

Firenze asks, and Remus gives the most terrifying and wonderful answer he's wanted for so long to say.

"I do."

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**A/N: At this point, I'm assuming Umbridge's Anti-Werewolf legislation would have been causing a roadblock to our lovely couple's getting married in any sort of wizard-officiated ceremony. I figured Firenze would be the next best thing, and also that they wouldn't have gone to any great lengths to invite people or wear fancy wedding things and whatnot. Will bribe with chocolate for feedback :3 **

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	10. Broken

_Broken_

They are shouting, shouting so loudly the entire Burrow seems to shake with it.

"_What part of this don't you understand, Tonks? _For Merlin's sake, I'm trying to_ save _you!"

"_What makes you so sure I need saving?!_" She all but spits the words at him, eyes afire through the tears, hands balled into fists at her sides. "We talked about _children_, Remus, about having a life together! How is it so easy for you to throw all that away?"

"You think this is _easy_? To walk away from the only glimmer of happiness I've had my entire life? I'm doing this so I can at least have some hope that you'll be safe! Is it so bad to want you to live if I don't make it through this year?"

"Do you really think so little of me? That I can't protect myself as well as you would?"

"I think I wouldn't be able to survive if I knowingly put you in the path of a danger so much bigger than the both of us! _Nothing_ can warrant that!"

"_I love you, Remus!_ Shouldn't that be enough reason to fight it together?"

But he will hear no more. Molly watches from the window as he strides across the lawn and out of sight, and Tonks is glad they cannot hear her cry.

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**A/N: You guys get your update early today! Starting tomorrow I'll be in Chicago for a week, so there may not be a daily update unless I can weasel my way onto a computer. My fingers are crossed! **

**You know the drill, will bribe for feedback with butter-rum muffins and tea (because it's as Molly-esque a of comfort food I could come up with). ^_^**


	11. Who

_Who_

"Come off it, Tonks. You're so loopy even Dumbledore can't get your attention. It's a man, isn't it? Only a man could do this to you. Is it Charlie? You went to school with him, right? Surprised you and him haven't hooked up alread—"

"It's not Charlie, Sirius." Tonks growls through clenched teeth.

"Is it Bill? You better get over that one, cousin dear. He's all over the Veela. You know how Veela are, always too preoccupied with themselves to care what poor saps start following 'em around. Wonder how Bill bagged that one, come to think of it—"

"Oh for Merlin's sake, I'm not in love with a Weasley!" she shouts, more loudly than she'd originally intended.

"So you _are_ in love with someone!"

Oh bugger. Tonks decides it would be in her best interest not to answer, and Sirius begins gleefully rattling off the Official Order of the Phoenix List of Eligible Bachelors. He rules out Snape, himself, and Mundungus Fletcher before finally reaching the object of her affections.

"Remus?"

Her flaming face is all the evidence he needs, and for some reason, it's apparently hilarious. "Moony! You're _mooning_ over _Moony_!"

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**A/N: Hello my dearies! Sorry for the prolonged delay, but we now bring you back to your regularly-scheduled program. As always, happy reading, and this time I'm offering up a stuffed animal if your choice to all reviewers!**


	12. Circle

_Circle_

_I love her, and I want to be with her._

_Wanting to be with her puts her in danger._

_It's my fault she's in danger, I need her to be safe._

_To keep her safe I have to leave her._

_I have to leave her because I love her._

_I love her._

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**A/N: I give you the shortest of the drabbles, and the most divergent one stylistically. I really enjoyed this one. Hope you do, too! Tonight's Reviewers' Bribe comes in the form of a Honeydukes grab-bag with candies of your choice :3**


	13. Birthday

_Birthday_

Tonks sinks into the overstuffed purple couch, hands raking through her hair. "Merlin, I thought they'd never leave."

Remus's hands knead into her shoulders, pressing the knots that had formed there during her (thoroughly unexpected) surprise party. "You know they all mean well, love," he says, but his tone speaks quite clearly that he's just as glad the remainder of the Order has finally trickled out.

"Yeah, well, we'll see how much good meaning well does _you_ when a whole mess of people Floo in while we're snogging on _your_ birthday." She doesn't bother morphing the red from her ears now that they're alone. "Did you see Molly's face when she caught me sprawled out on the couch _on top of you?_ Blimey, I thought she'd burst a blood vessel."

Remus winces. "Well, she _does_ think of you as another daughter…"

"Good thing snogging was all we were doing. Could you imagine if _my_ _parents _had shown up?"

Images of a blanching, scandalized Andromeda Black and a sputtering, ruddy-faced Ted Tonks swim before his eyes.

"Please don't plant that thought in my head, Tonks. I'm scarred enough as it is."

Her musical laugh rings through the flat as she pulls him down beside her. "Well, if it gets your mind off of my mother, _I_ happen to be thinking about where we left off with that birthday present of yours…" She grins, and Remus catches her smile with his lips, happy to indulge in her much more appealing mental images.

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**A/N: This is another one I particularly enjoyed writing, possibly because I let artistic lisence run away with it a little. I like to imagine Tonks' birthday in late November, dunno why really. Tonight reviewers get a giant wedge of birthday cake in exchange for feedback!**


	14. Sixth Sense

_Sixth Sense_

"What do you mean, 'what's the matter with me'? I'm perfectly content right as I am, thank you."

"Something is definitely up, Moony, and I don't mean it's almost your time of the month." Sirius gives Remus one long, appraising look, complete with a very Sirius-like stroke of the beard, before passing his judgment. "It's my cousin, isn't it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Padfoot." Remus says, a little too quickly to be true.

"Come off it, mate." Sirius smirks, throwing one leg over the arm of his chair. "It is _absolutely_ Tonks. I've known you three-quarters of my life. You couldn't trick me even if I _weren't_ psychic."

Remus gives him a look, then locks his gaze pointedly with the floor, fiddling with a loose thread on his armchair. "Half of which was spent in Azkaban. And you were crap at Divination."

"Listen, you and I both know you've got it bad. And honestly, I think it's about bloody time you got yourself laid."

The glare shot in Sirius' direction is indication enough that his comment does not exactly sit well with Remus.

"Alright, alright, you win. But be serious, man, she's arse over teakettle—" Remus finds himself with a distinct mental image of Tonks dropping a pot of Earl Grey and falling down the stairs—"Get a good look at her next Order meeting. You'll see what I mean."

Remus sighs. "How did you know?"

"Told you before, mate," Sirius grins, "I'm psychic."

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**A/N: I hope it's fairly obvious this drabble is set almost directly after number 11, "Who." I imagine Sirius would lord his knowledge of Remus and Tonks' mutual affection for each other over both of their heads for a bit and savor every second of it. ;P The Reviewers' Brive for the evening is an aged bottle of firewhiskey, complete with Sirius as a drinking buddy :) Hope you like, everyone!**


	15. Dinner

_Dinner_

The photograph is snatched from his hands, and Remus grabs, desperate, after the gnarled claw lording it just out of reach.

"So this is the piece you left behind to join our little family, is it?" Greyback sneers, a mocking grin splitting his scarred face. "D'you miss her, Remus? Did she kiss it and make it all better after you'd changed back? She make you feel like a _man_ again?" He spits the word "man," spits it in the dust at Remus' feet.

The disheveled pack joins in their Alpha's sinister laugh. Bile rises in Remus' throat.

"That's enough, Fenrir. She's long gone now."

Revulsion twists the sneer into growl, and Greyback's lip curls as the young woman in the photo leans over to press a kiss to her smiling love's cheek. "Then you'd better forget her fast. Unless, of course, you plan on inviting her for dinner and some…_friendly_ _entertainment_, eh, boys?"

The pack jeers in agreement as Greyback tears the photograph in two. "You're no more a man than the rest of us, no matter who you had pretending with you." He flings the pieces back in Remus' face.

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**A/N: Of the 44 drabbles I've finished so far, this one would have to be in the top three. I've wondered for a long time what life must've been like in Greyback's pack; I find a number of the Death Eaters despicably fascinating, and Fenrir is one of that number. For the Bribe of the Evening I'm offering reviewers a pair of steel-toed boots and a free shot at Fenrir's ribcage. He could use a good kick, don't you think?**


	16. Moon

_Moon_

"_Bloody hell—!_"

Remus wakes to the unmistakable sound of hiss and a stubbed toe, naked in his bed. His head pounds, worse than it usually does after a full moon. Didn't he tell her to stay away when he was like this? His face burns; she shouldn't have to see him in such a state. He presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, her frantic whispered apologies far too loud for post-transformation senses. But she's left a steaming pot of potato soup on the fire, warm blankets draped over him, clean clothes folded at the foot of the bed, and a massive bar of chocolate on the bedside table; despite the previous night's aches, he feels a tired smile on his lips.

Tonks fidgets nervously with the tassels on her scarf. "Remus, I'm so sorry, I know I shouldn't be here this soon, but I wanted to bring you a few things I thought might help you feel better. Maybe help ease you out of…of things. I'm leaving now, I promise. You need rest—"

He catches her hand.

"Please stay."

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**A/N: Have some fluff. Awww. And for your Bribe of the Night, how's about finding a massive bar of chocolate and the one who left it in your room after a rough night? ;)**


	17. Smell

_Smell_

She sleeps in his pyjamas every night, wraps herself with the sweet soap-and-parchment smell of him. It soothes her frantic mind to sleep, stays the desperate hoping he's survived another day, and just for a moment she doesn't feel so painfully alone.

That smell is fading now. It's been so long since he'd last slept beside her, so long since they'd last shared one set of pyjamas. She would wear the shirt over her knickers and Remus would keep the bottoms. Then he'd pull her against his bare chest and she would curl up close and breathe him in, would drift off feeling safe and loved and wanted night after night.

Tonks buries her face in the soft blue flannel and hopes he's found someplace warm to sleep tonight.

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**A/N: I apologize for the lack of update last night - FF Net didn't really feel like logging me in until today. So, I'll posting drabble #18 as well this evening! I'd love to hear your thoughts on both, so the bribe for this piece will be a pair of pyjamas smelling like the character of your choice to fall asleep in :)**


	18. Home

_Home_

"Stoppit! Put me down!" Tonks laughs, whacking him in the chest with her small – and now rather disheveled - bouquet. "It's my flat! And I can walk in these shoes, I promise!"

Remus chuckles and kisses the tip of her nose. "But that would keep me from the first of my husbandly duties if I let you walk in on your own." He sets her down just inside the door, leaving her fingers twined together at his nape. "S'bad luck."

A smile curves the corners of her mouth, full bottom lip caught by her teeth. "Well, I suppose it is _our_ flat now, isn't it?" The backs of his fingers skim her cheek, drawing their faces together.

"That it is, Mrs. Lupin," Remus murmurs. One hand brushes just underneath the hem of her dress; his eyes are dark, dusky with gentle desire as she tangles her fingers in his hair. Tonks smiles against his mouth and nudges the door shut.

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**A/N: Angst and fluff drabbles both in the same night! How's that for double the value? ;) It was immensely fun to invent Remus and Tonks' immediate post-wedding interaction and conversation. They're too cute. For your feedback on this puppy I'm offering up your very own Remus to carry you home for an entertaining evening in ;)**


	19. Dark

_Dark_

He's thankful for the darkness. It keeps her from seeing how far he's fallen.

But see him she does. With lips and hands and skin as she cradles his hips against her own. Splays her small fingers across his back. Feathers kisses along the sharp lines of his neck, his collarbone, the inside of his wrists. As if she could heal him from the shadows of the life he's since adopted. He tangles his fingers in her hair, holding a lingering kiss to his throat and rolls her onto her back, his weight settling comfortably, _perfectly_, over her lithe frame. Her legs draw him closer and he is gentle as they twine into each other.

There is no trace of the wolf here, no vestige of the feral brute he's been while dry lips trace soft, flushed skin. He feels her every shiver, every sigh of his name, his messy fringe trailing patters at the dip below her throat. Velvet eyes meet his as she arches into him, gives herself so freely, holds and loves and trusts the very beast that almost destroyed her. He takes of what she offers, starving for all the things _he_ should have been the one to lay at her feet. Takes advantage. Thieves from her that which he is not man enough to give.

There is no man left.

Guilt constricts his insides. He can steal no more of her, and pushes her away.

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**A/N: So we've made it to the chapter that's made me up the rating on this fic, and I'm fairly pleased with it. _Dark_ takes place roughly in the middle of Remus' time underground with the pack at an imagined, almost-AU chance meeting between the two of them. Much inspiration came from the drawing www [DOT] ****philotic-net [DOT] deviantart [DOT] com/art/Whatever-Colors-You-Have-112047866**** (just without the words and spaces) and by extension the song "Lay Lady Lay" by Bob Dylan. A nice little number of my drabbles are inspired by music, and I'll post the songs as they crop up if anyone's interested in looking up the pieces of my R/T playlist. Bribe of the Night: a romantic evening with any character you can cook up, without the possibility of being pushed away.**


	20. Choices

_Choices_

"Remus, wait, please."

God, how he wants to pull her close. He wants so badly to kiss away the glassy sparkles in her eyes, slide his hands beneath the sheets she's wrapped around herself and tell her all this pain was a mistake. Instead he has to turn his face away.

"There's nothing left for you here." His unused voice is rough, cracked. He's thankful the doorframe he leans upon holds under what's left of his weight.

"Don't say that. Dumbledore'll come to his senses. You'll be able to leave these—"

"These _what_, Tonks? These beasts?"

"Remus, you know I didn't mean it like—"

Shame pulses through him like molten lead. "It was all a farce, thinking I could have a life with you. A game of pretend," he rasps, "…at being a man."

Silence stretches between them. He can feel her eyes on his back.

"Do you love me?"

His blood runs cold. She stands there, threadbare sheets clutched to her bare chest. Naked and shivering and vulnerable, but unfaltering. Still trusting after all he's put her through.

"I did, Nymphadora. More than anything."

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**A/N: _Choices_, as a companion piece, takes place immediately after _Dark_. They'll probably be the only two drabbles in chronological order, 'cause I felt they wouldn't have made sense placed away from each other. Enjoy the angst, as well as the bucket of any flavor Fortescue's ice cream I'm offering reviewers to drown the angst in sugary goodness**.


	21. Drink

__

Drink

Tonks rolls her eyes as he grimaces, gulping down the rancid-smelling potion in three huge swallows.

"Nothing like the smell of Wolfsbane in the morning, eh love?" she giggles and kisses the top of his head.

Remus washes it down with a full glass of water, wrinkling his nose at the hideous lingering aftertaste. "You'd think by now someone would've figured out how to sweeten the thing without ruining it," he sighs, getting up most likely to search her cupboards for some cocoa product or another.

"Right, I'll get right on that research," she laughs. "What would you like to try first, O Wise Intrepid Test Subject? Chocolate sauce and whipped cream, or a hit of straight sugar?"

"Judging by the contents of this kitchen," he smirks, hooking his fingers through the belt loops of her jeans, "I'd say that _you _would _definitely_ be worth a taste."

She makes a face, giggling as her palm intercepts his kiss. "Brush your teeth first."

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**A/N: Aaaah, some much-needed fluff after the last two chapters :3 Tonight reviewers get a lovely morning in with the character they fancy, minus the nasty taste of Wolfsbane potion ^_^ Enjoy! **


	22. If

_If_

Remus finds her among the branches of the tapestry, curled up within the wings of a huge armchair. One hand strokes absently at her cousin's blacked-out name. She looks so small.

"You come here to hide now, don't you?" he asks, his voice warm and inviting and weary as she turns into his arms.

Tonks rubs at one eye with the heel of her hand. "I love Molly and Arthur and the rest, but sometimes there's only so long I can make myself smile." She makes room for him in her chair, settling slender arms loosely about his waist. "I should really go soon…night shift tonight. Continuing investigations down in the Department of Mysteries."

He nods but tightens his hold, and she nuzzles her face against his jumper.

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**A/N: Have a little more angst. Like they really need it. Reviewers get a nice cozy armchair with enough space for two, and a special someone to share it with :3**


	23. Fixed

_Fixed_

Their bodies crash together, all hope for self-control utterly lost within waves upon maddening waves of suppressed desire. Lips meet in desperate, almost brutal kisses, hands and hearts seeking, searching, starving for a love too long denied them. The more they touch, the greater the bone-deep need for each caress becomes. Even their own skin is too much in between, the roll of hips against hips an effort to melt away all that separates them from complete surrender.

He pulls back just long enough to catch sight of her face, dark eyes fluttering shut in anticipation, all pain and fear and insecurity forgotten in the press of their bodies. He rakes his fingers through her hair, still brown and unremarkable, but soft and welcome and beautiful to him all the same. She hasn't felt beautiful in far too long, ever since he'd gone underground. Not since the morph-magic seemed to drain out of her veins. For so long she's been missing so much more than just her colors. And Remus knows, realizes now that he has always known, that he will be the one to give them back to her.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, I switched the rating back to T. This drabble may be smut, but it's clean smut, if you catch my drift. So T it is, especially since the sheer number of clean chapters far outweigh the few more suggestive ones. _Fixed_ here takes place the night before Dumbledore's funeral, if anyone was wondering. Reviewers get a kaleidoscope tonight, so everyone can get themselves some vivid Tonksy colors :)**


	24. Years

_Years_

Remus has never used her youth as an excuse. The words _too old, too poor, too dangerous_ have reverberated in her thoughts for far longer than is healthy, but Tonks has only just noticed that the fault in their ages has never been phrased against her. The thirteen-year gap looms large, but his refusal has never been expressed "_you are too young for me_." In lashing at himself Remus has placed her on a pedestal too lofty for her tastes, when the last thing she has ever presumed to be is too good for him.

His love is humbling, sometimes frightening in the depths he'll reach for her. So much so that she often thinks his heart too pure, too fragile a thing to be entrusted to her clumsy hands. But regardless, the last thing she wants is to elevate him to a place she cannot reach. Rather, she'll keep reaching to pull him up beside her. They will break down their barriers together, hand in hand, or not at all.

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**A/N: Early update tonight! Reviewers will be sent their very own pedestal to sit upon and observe the lives of all the little characters we mess with in these fics!**


	25. Passing

_Passing_

They realize that moments like these cannot last.

The afternoon is pleasantly warm. Just enough so that Remus has deemed it necessary to shed the button-down shirt he'd donned that morning. Tonks isn't complaining as he settles her against his chest, one arm draped loosely about her waist, the other caressing her bare shoulder. Her legs dangle from the edge of the flat's tiny fire escape, toes curling in their pink striped socks as he fingers the strap of her camisole, brushing the sensitive curve between shoulder and neck. She keeps track of time passing in the kisses he drops to her hair every so often, and shivers when his lips trail down to brush her nape.

He nuzzles the soft pink strands feathered there, gives her waist a comforting squeeze. She feels safe here, ensconced in the circle of his arms, content to enjoy these few Elysian hours before the world can crash back down again.

* * *

**A/N: Aaaah, this one was so easy to write. I had a very clear picture for it in my head, which if you're interested you can find sketched at www[DOT]****nancystagerat[DOT]deviantart[DOT]com/art/A-Rare-Moment-of-Peace-130327690**** . I hope you like both the writing and the art, and tonight my reviewers will be receiving a fire escape to share with the character of their choosing, and their very own pair of pink striped socks. :3**


	26. Birth

_Birth_

"_I am going to kill you._"

Judging by her current level of pain, she isn't joking (at the moment, anyway). He is absolutely going to die.

Remus is silently glad he will never be the one in labor as he endures hail after hail of profanity with each of his wife's contractions. Tonks grips his hand so hard he'd lost feeling over an hour ago, but he kisses her forehead, brushes her sweat-dampened hair behind her ears, and wishes he knew what he was doing. She turns her face into his shoulder—

…and bites down.

"Ow!" he yelps, jerking back a bit, but the pain and fear and fury clouded in her eyes bring his arms around her again.

"Don't you _dare_—_hiss_—talk to me about pain, Remus John Lupin!—_hiss_—This is all your fault!" she grits through clenched teeth. He strokes her hair, feels her shallow breaths against his neck.

"Your wedding night better have been worth it, love—_hiss_—!" The smile she offers is watered down with pain as she sucks in a difficult breath, but it's a smile nonetheless.

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**A/N: The prompt is _Birth_ and I'm so predictable. Early update tonight due to a late shift at work, with the early Reviewers' Bribe of the character of your choosing to help you through a difficult day. **


	27. She

_She_

She kicks in her sleep…but murmurs about him in her dreams.

She's knocked him over numerous times…but never misses the chance to kiss the bruises away.

She's still so young… but can make him feel giddy like a child.

She likes terrible music…but sings softer things to him when she thinks he cannot hear.

She should be with someone her equal…but thinks his love a much more precious thing.

She deserves a normal, happy life…but she has given just that life to him.

She has given him everything he's ever wanted…but he can't even give her a ring.

She throws her arms around his neck…and he should've known those four small words, the question, not the ring, would be what she's wanted most.

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**A/N: I'm rather fond of this one, not gonna lie. Tonight reviewers get to hear all the reasons the character you fancy best _shouldn't_ like you, and then have all those reasons completely ignored ;)**


	28. Christmas

_Christmas_

"Remus, dear, are you sure you won't talk to her? She shouldn't be alone, not tonight, and she won't listen to m—"

"Did you tell Nymphadora I would be here?" he asks, eyes fixated on the floor. Molly wrings her festive apron in her hands.

"Of course I told her! I want the poor girl here too, you know. Tonks even helped me cook yesterday, but said she didn't want her presence to make things…_difficult_ for you."

"If you really just wanted her company, Molly, you should never have invited me."

"That's bollocks and you know it," Molly scolds, "You're always more than welcome. Besides, you need some good hot food in you before you have to leave again." She busies herself with the Santa Claus teapot so he won't be able to see her frustration. "Anyway, this has nothing to do with me."

"She should be with her parents," he rasps.

"That may be the case," Molly lays a sympathetic hand on his shoulder, "but if there's anyone's company _Nymphadora_ wants, Remus, it's yours. She wants to help you, too."

He says nothing, for the moment lost in the image of Tonks curled on her couch alone, knees drawn up to her chest with only Christmas programs on the wireless for company. Molly pours tea into his empty cup. "The only one keeping you from her is yourself, you know."

* * *

**A/N: And what an angsty Christmas it is. Reviewers get to join in the Weasley festivities for a few games of Exploding Snap with the twins, though I can't guarantee either of them will play by the rules... :)**


	29. He

_He_

"Psst, Mad-Eye," Tonks hisses through her teeth, eyes intent on the slightly disheveled, tired-looking newcomer her cousin has just let in and clapped, laughing, on the back. "Who's he?"

"That's Remus Lupin. Taught Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts two years ago. He hasn't been to the last few meetings because of a, ah, _prior obligation_." The senior Auror answers, obliging her without prying into Remus' private business; it's his prerogative to tell or not to tell about his issues with the moon.

Tonks watches him for the next moment or two. This Remus character is warmly welcomed by Dumbledore, and McGonagall smiles and dips her head to him in greeting before Sirius steers him to an empty seat and proceeds to chew his ear off with sarcastic comments she doesn't quite hear.

_If only I didn't have work straight from the meeting…_

Then Sirius catches her eye and she darts her gaze away, forcing down the heat under her skin hopefully before he can misconstrue anything. She was merely _taking inventory_ of an Order member she wasn't yet acquainted with.

_Right_.

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**A/N: I'm blaming the song "I've Just Seen a Face" on the Across the Universe soundtrack for this one. Played it on repeat while I wrote it :) Tonight reviewers get to linger after the meeting to chat with their favorite Order member.**


	30. Sick

_Sick_

Tonks heaves over the sink, expelling nothing but bile from her empty stomach. Her throat burns, her eyes sting, and nothing she eats will stay down. She tells herself she doesn't need him to hold back her hair; it's too short for that anyway. She doesn't need him to rub her back, or kiss her cheek or tell her it'll all get better soon. She can get through this just fine on her own, thank you very much. If Bellatrix couldn't kill her, neither will a little morning sickness.

She spits out the last of the acid, swishes water around her mouth, but the acrid taste remains.

She doesn't need him. Weaker have survived worse. But it would take a stronger woman than she to stop imagining the kind of father Remus should have been, the kind she thought he used to want to be. Now the sting in her eyes won't go away and her throat still burns and she hates herself for crying over this. She wants to hit things, destroy something, curl into a ball and die rather than do this alone. Instead she rips from her neck the opal necklace she'd strung with his wedding ring, and throws it at the wall.

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A/N: I like this one a lot, really can't tell you why. Reviewers get to play the angel on Remus' shoulder, and convince him to come back home :)


	31. Sound

_Sound_

For some reason, she reminds him of violins. Superficially, the words _pretty_ and _curves_ come to mind (he's admiring how her shoulders taper into torso and waist before rounding out into her hips), but so do_ lively_ and _bold_ and _delicate_ and _expressive_ and _dancing_ and _seductive_ and _gentle_ and _bright_ and _responsive_…

So does _elegant_, even, now that he's thought of it. Not in the most traditional sense of the word, of course. It's in the way she carries herself, in the curl of her hands against her pillow as she sleeps. Her definitions are as many as the sounds that can be made by bow and strings, mercurial as the ever-changing shapes and colors of her. _Proud_. Comfortable with herself and those around her. Able to stand out, even in silence, just by being what she is.

* * *

**A/N: I got off work late, so unfortunately, the update is late :( This chapter's reviewers will be receiving the opportunity to admire the sleeping character of their choice (in a completely non-stalkerish way), and come up with something lovely they remind you of :)**


	32. Friends

_Friends_

"Tonks, I don't know about this older man thing you're going through…" The beaver Patronus at her feet says, slapping its ephemeral tail against Nymphadora's tile kitchen floor. "He's _how many_ years older?"

A moment later, the beaver dissipates and Prudence Thomas' face in the fireplace wiggles the ash from her nose. "Well?"

"Thirteen, Prue. And it's not a 'thing.' It's never been a 'thing!'"

"Thirteen's a lot."

"If he's not old enough to be my father, he's not too old," Tonks snips, adjusting her sparkly green headband. "And you would like him. He's a real gentleman, all charming and sweet and thoughtful and funny and—"

"But you haven't shagged yet."

Tonks feels the hair on the back of her neck prickle. "PRUE! He's not like that! Besides, just because I'm a little bit in love with him doesn't mean I'm going to just jump his—"

"_A little bit_ in love, Tonks?"

_Bloody hell_.

Prudence's face raises one glowing eyebrow. Tonks can't believe that came out of her mouth. But there isn't much to be done about _that_ now, is there? She sighs; now or never.

"Yes, Prue. I'm in love with him."

* * *

**A/N: Aaaah I really love this drabble. Lucy has some 'splainin' to do. According to Lee Jordan on Potterwatch in DH, Dean Thomas has sisters. I decided one of those sisters needed to be older than Dean, named Prue, and friends with Tonks. If I am missing evidence to the contrary and you'd like to tell me to sod off, please point it out to me and I'll fix things :3 Reviewers tonight will be receiving a decent box of Floo powder to transport themselves to anyone with which they'd like to converse, HP character or otherwise.  
**


	33. Diamond

_Diamond_

Tonks gives him a warning look through her fringe as she takes the little velvet box from his hands.

Remus, on the other hand, smiles innocently. "I couldn't afford it by your birthday, so you'll have to settle for two months late."

"I'll kill you for spending money on me, you stupid great—" She stops. Inside is a tiny silver pendant. A small, brilliant opal shimmers from the center.

"Silver burns you," she murmurs. _Opal and silver_. He knows her better than she does.

"But it's prettier than gold. You said it yourself; silver reflects other colors much more nicely."

His smile is expectant, but not nervous. She pulls the necklace out and holds it to the light, admiring the light thrown from its facets, and blushes just a bit. He takes it from her and fastens the clasp behind her neck.

"Don't touch it! You'll hurt—!"

The protest is lost in his kiss. "You like it?"

Tonks wraps her arms around his neck. "It's beautiful, you idiot."

* * *

**A/N: Lucy has some more 'splainin' to do. This time, to the best of my knowledge, JKR did not include the silver handicap as an issue with her werewolves, but because I am a supernatural purist, in my brain I like to imagine that touching pure silver would evoke some mild discomfort in a werewolf. If I am completely wrong and you'd like to tell me to sod off, please do! :3 Also, I'm fully aware opals are not diamonds. But opals fit Tonks better. Tonight's reviewers will get gifted anything they wish!  
**


	34. Outsides

_Outsides_

Theirs is an unobtrusive affection. Public displays have never sat well with Remus, and he'd been rather relieved when Tonks, as bold a dresser as she is, preferred to keep their attraction a strictly private affair as well. They will never be the couple sneaking kisses across teashop booths, choosing instead to keep their visible signs of attraction limited to clasped hands atop the table.

He rubs his thumb across the backs of her fingers, and such a simple gesture has never been so intimate, never conveyed so much as it does between them. Unimposing in its gentle devotion. Her smile glows, shy as she bathes in the warmth of that one small show of fondness.

More perceptive customers notice the quiet couple, smile at them over the rims of their mugs. Many remember what it was like to be in love like that; others wonder how it must feel to have such an easy connection with someone else. Some are envious. Most are content just to wonder how their strange little perfection came to be, and wish them well.

* * *

**A/N: This is quite possibly my favorite drabble of the 82 I've written thus far. I do love it so. I'd love to know what you all think of it! Reviewers tonight will receive a teashop booth and the character of their choice to share it with.**


	35. Thunder

_Thunder_

Molly sits a disheveled, anxious Tonks down at the long kitchen table, pushing a hot mug of tea into her hands. Tonks takes a white-knuckled grip on the handle, but doesn't raise it to her lips.

"Come on, dear, it'll warm you up," Molly urges, sitting beside the shaken girl and laying a comforting hand on her back.

"Thanks," Tonks replies, voice blank. There is a darkness in her eyes, a pain so inescapable it's seeped in and become a part of her. "I didn't think I could stay at home tonight."

Molly squeezes the young woman's hand. "You know you're always welcome here, Nymphadora."

Tonks opens her mouth to reply, but before she can conjure up the sound blue-white lightning floods the kitchen and the thunder shakes the Burrow to its very foundations. She startles, upsetting her tea as she nearly falls out of her seat. Thankfully, the tea misses them both and Molly's wand whisks the liquid away.

"Sorry," she says sheepishly, mousy fringe hiding her face. "I don't know what to do with myself." She's glad the full moon hides behind the rain. "I've never been so scared before."

Molly pulls Tonks into a hug, the only way she can think of to offer comfort, and Tonks crumbles, shaking. "Remus will make it through this. I promise. He'll come back to you just fine."

* * *

**A/N: In case it's not clear to everyone, this drabble takes place the first full moon after Remus leaves Dora pre/the beginning of HBP. It's his first transformation with the pack, his first in a long time without Wolfsbane, it's a stormy night, and Tonks is terrified. I love Molly Weasley and try to include her wherever I can, and like to imagine that this is the first of a few "tea and sympathy" sessions between the two women. Reviewers get a Molly hug and some solid advice to help you through whatever problems you may be facing. **


	36. Shapes

_Shapes_

Tonks is already asleep when he nudges the door open. His ears perk forward at the rustle of cotton sheets, recognizing her very pregnant silhouette even before his wolf's nose can breathe her in. She breathes unevenly; he can see her chest rising and falling in tempo with her nightmare. Remus whines; since his year undercover, she's had bad dreams every full moon. His fault. His to correct.

But tonight his mind is his own, thanks to the Wolfsbane, and he can do his best to pull her from her dreams. Remus hops with careful paws onto the bed, hoping not to jar her. He whines again, eases his head beneath her arm, noses her hand as he curls close as he can to her.

Tonks stirs, fingers tangling in dense fur as her foggy mind recognizes him. She ruffles his ears, throwing an arm across his back. "Go t'sleep, Remus." He _wruffs_, nuzzling her belly. She smiles sleepily. "Careful, you'll wake the pup."

* * *

**A/N: Hope you like, dears, and the reviewer's bribe today is a game of fetch with whichever Marauding Canine strikes your fancy :3**


	37. Where

_Where_

The last thing she remembers is darkness. The musty air of the Department of Mysteries, head-splitting pain and the metallic tang of blood in her mouth, shot through with an evil, triumphant laughter she's sure will haunt her for the rest of her life.

Her head pounds, fit to burst with the too-clean, antiseptic smell flooding her nose. Tonks opens her eyes only to force them closed again; the lights and off-white walls are too bright for her already swimming vision.

"Where the bloody hell…?" She tries to raise her hands to press the headache from her eyes and pain rockets through her sides, all the way up her arms before some foreign weight pins them to the mattress. For the longest split second there is only paralyzing fear and even the kiss on her forehead is a threat before disoriented senses can tell her that it's Remus and she's safe.

"Shhh, Dora. It's just me." He strokes her face, brushes sweat-dampened hair from her forehead and slowly she feels herself ease back into the pillow. "You've been in the hospital."

* * *

**A/N: Still not sure how pleased I am with this one, but meh. I'm hoping you lovely lot like it more than I do at this point :3 Will bribe for feedback with the promise of your favorite food brought to you by Molly's stellar home cooking! **


	38. Water

_Water_

Tonks grabs the rail at the side of the little bridge and hoists up her pixie's frame, leaning her elbows on the top bar. Her feet are braced on the bottom rung and she smiles, pink hair catching the breeze to fan into a rosy glow about her face. It's a contented smile, radiating the simple happiness that comes from being comfortable with her surroundings and the company she keeps.

"There's turtles, Remus! Come on, have a look!" With a jerk of her chin she beckons him over and wobbles just a bit before he steadies her with sure hands at her waist. "They're so cute, swimming about down there, aren't they? Not a care in the world."

"I reckon they've a care or two," he says, grinning an impish smile Tonks knows all too well, "Like, say, the witch who might just topple into their stream if she leans out any farther."

"And is avoiding witches falling out of the sky a rather commonplace hazard around these parts?" She asks, twisting her lips into a smirk.

"Oh, you can't escape them," Remus laughs, "I can never well manage to get out of the way in time."

"Git."

"You love it."

* * *

**A/N: I'm wicked pleased with this one. I love them being all happy and cute. Props go to the song "All This Beauty" by the Weepies and the photo "Don't Call Me Nymphadora 4" by NeverlandForever here on deviantart: www dot ****neverlandforever dot deviantart dot com/art/Don-t-Call-Me-Nymphadora-4-94591611**** . Reviewers tonight will be receiving a bridge from which to watch turtles with the character of your choice :) **


	39. Taste

_Taste_

Her back is turned. She hugs her arms as if she's protecting herself.

"Just get your things and go. I don't want to see you. God, I want to _forget_ you—"

"Nymphadora, I won't leave again."

"You say that now!" She whirls on him. "You've done this to me twice! You and your bloody—_saving-people_ _complex_ have got it in your head that you can just scarper off every time you doubt yourself. _I can't take it, Remus!_ What makes you think I want to risk being left again?"

"Tonks, I was wrong, I—"

Her control is slipping, painfully evident in the rising pitch of her voice. "What crap idea made you think it was ever right in the first place? Please…please, just go."

"I didn't want to make you an outcast, didn't want to stigmatize our—"

She is almost hysterical, wide eyes red as she thrusts the frantic words at him. "Oh, no no no, by all means, spare me the world's pity! It's not like I'm _in love with you,_ or _the mother of your child,_ or anything silly like tha—!"

The words choke and die in her throat and her hands are pinned between them and her face flames and his arms are tight around her and his mouth—_oh God he's kissing her_—his mouth is hot and desperate and so, _so_ welcome...

"_I need you_," he says, her face in both his hands. "Just you. Nothing else."

* * *

**A/N: Late update tonight, 'cause i just moved back into school this morning. Anyhoo, this drabble takes place when Remus comes crawling back to Dora after leaving her again in DH, and was helped along by the song "Long Way to Happy" by Pink. Will bribe for reviews with a bear hug from the character of your choosing.**


	40. Spade

_Spade_

"_Don't touch that!_"

Tonks lunges for Remus' hand, which has come dangerously close to a potted plant on the table she clearly doesn't want him to examine.

"That's _aconite_, you dolt!" she scolds, whisking it away and setting it on a windowsill at the other end of the room. "You're a _werewolf_, for Merlin's sake, you should at least recognize the wolfsbane plant when you see it!"

"I think I must've missed that Herbology lesson, then," Remus chokes, finding his fingers prickling all of a sudden and thrusting them deep in his pocket. It wasn't called wolfs_bane_ for nothing. Any closer and he could've lost use of that hand. "Any other potentially life-threatening plants around here I should know about?"

Tonks takes up a small trowel from the sill and proceeds to turn some of the topsoil in the pot. "No other werewolf-specific plants, but I've a Venomous Tentacula and a bit of Devil's Snare coming along quite nicely out on the fire escape," she giggles.

Remus rolls his eyes. "I always thought you had it in for me," he laughs, "Always with the knocking-down, and now your anti-lycanthrope shrubbery. This place is downright _booby-trapped_—"

"Actually, Remus…" Tonks gives her hands a quick rinse before fishing his out of his pockets, rubbing her thumbs across his fingers. There's an apprehensive focus to her eyes now, weighting their usual shine. "It took a bit of convincing, but…Snape's agreed to teach me to brew your Wolfsbane. I'd…I'd hoped to surprise you."

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**A/N: I don't think I've done this yet, so I really want to thank all of you for the fantastic reviews. They really mean a lot to me and I get really excited every morning when I find your comments in my inbox :3 I'm so glad you like this story! In case anyone was wondering about the title for this drabble, I wrote it in reference to a gardening trowel, 'cause my gardener grandmother calls 'em "spades." Reviewers tonight get a free afternoon full of playful banter with the character of your choosing. :)**


	41. Why

_Why_

Remus scans the Prophet, staring, unseeing, at the obituaries. He can't bring himself to search for any more familiar names. Tonks, on the couch, is fiddling with the radio in his periphery. Her dark eyes are clouded, lost in thought as she pulls the cuffs of her sleeves down over her hands. It _is_ a bit cold in the flat, now that he thinks of it, though whether it's due to the temperature or the atmosphere remains to be seen.

"Remus?"

He looks up, lined eyes weary and hooded by something akin to irritation.

Tonks has pulled her knees up to her chest, fingertips just poking from under the edges of long violet sleeves. He cannot read her face, and it unnerves him.

"Why've you stopped telling me you love me?"

He can almost feel himself pale. He _has_ stopped telling her, whether he's noticed it or not. The words won't come anymore.

"Have I?" he rasps, but does not look at her.

"It scares me, Remus."

Tonks stares through him, absently turns the ring on her left hand. Remus swallows; he is all too aware of the promises he's made her, and all too aware that he cannot possibly keep them.

"I'm sorry," he answers, "I hadn't realized…"

A tired, resigned sort of fear tightens her muscles. "Will you tell me now?"

He takes a deep breath. There is no conviction in his voice.

"I love you, Dora."

* * *

**A/N: This piece takes place shortly after they marry, when Remus is having his doubts about things. In my head it's at this point Dora realizes she's pregnant, but is a little scared to tell him. Anyhoo, I hope you like it despite the angst, and reviewers tonight get to babysit their eventual multicolored pup :3**


	42. Green

_Green_

"Come off it, Tonks, give it back!"

"Absolutely not!" She dances just out of his reach, Remus' blue flannel pyjama top falling just below where she needs it to as she hugs the warm fabric around herself. Tonks laughs as he lunges for her, a lithe little pixie skipping backwards from his clumsy human hands. Every so often Remus will catch the faintest sight of lime green panties just under the hem of the shirt and he seriously considers letting her get away with the theft. At least she's left him the trousers.

He gives one last swipe at her and Tonks tries to hop out of the way, her escape foiled as the backs of her knees smack the side of their bed. Her legs reflexively buckle and her balance—inevitably—fails, arms windmilling before she lands with a soft thump atop the quilt. She doesn't quite get the chance to catch her breath before Remus' comfortable weight rests atop her, his hands pinning hers above her head. The fluorescent green lace of her bra is just maddeningly visible above blue flannel lapels and his grin is victorious, his laugh warm with desire as he presses smiling lips to the flushed swell of her breast.

He thinks he rather likes the look of his pyjamas on her.

* * *

**A/N: I love them being all playful and cute :3 Reviewers tonight get to steal pyjamas from the character they fancy :3**


	43. Black

_Black_

He sheds no tears, not like she does. Hers leave hot stains where they fall from her face onto his. Yet _she_ is the one cradling his head to her chest, holding him, stroking his hair as he clings to her slight frame.

He tries so hard to control himself; he of all people should be used to losing friends this way. He should not feel so empty, not with Tonks so very warm and real and solid in his arms, but now that all of his friends are gone the ever-heavy loneliness seems so much harder to bear. He breathes deep, slow and strained against the slender arms pulling him tight against her, but all it seems to do is add physical pain to an already unbearable grief.

Neither needs to speak, offering and receiving comfort only in each other's arms, in the shared hollow ache of losing one so close to both their lives. Mere words would dishonor the friend they mourn. Remus knows they should not linger too long in this sadness; Sirius would want them to laugh, would tease them for the mopey things they are. But if sorrow must color the moment then together should be how they will banish it. They owe him at least that much. He'd pulled their strings and given the bit of a push they'd both needed, and they both know that somewhere he'll find their thanks in this embrace.

* * *

**A/N: A tribute to Sirius. Reviewers get invited to the kickin' party I'm throwing to celebrate him :3**


	44. Not Enough

_Not Enough_

He will not stop until he's covered every inch of her with kisses.

She gasps, pale skin fevered and silky under his hands. A beautiful rosy blush paints her face and neck, fast spreading to other soft sensitive places he's given so much sweet attention to. She holds his kisses to her throat and collarbone, fists her hand in his hair when he reaches the valley between her breasts. He slides his arms beneath her arching back, pressing her flush against him as he continues his gentle ministrations. Her shallow breaths ruffle the hair at his nape and he can feel the rise and fall of her chest pressed to him, taste the faint salt of her sweat in his kiss. His hands come to rest at her waist, thumbs press a light massage just under her hips and—

Oh God, her legs draw him _unbearably_ close and his name dances on her lips and she is hot and soft and home and he is hers and _she is_ _his._

Remus buries his face in pink hair, and turns to silk inside her.

* * *

**A/N: WHAT THE HECK, FFNET. This document refused to convert for two days, and it really drove me a little bit nuts. With any luck, I'll be able to post the next one tonight. Anyhoo, enjoy! And reviewers will be getting a kiss from whichever character you like best :)**


	45. Red

_Red_

"You give new meaning to the term _scarlet_ _woman_, darling, I swear," Remus laughs softly, running a hand through Tonks' sleep-tousled hair. Sometime in the middle of the night its color had deepened from candyfloss pink to a rather lurid fire-engine red.

"Gerroff, you," she murmurs, a drowsy smile turning up one corner of her mouth. She yanks the covers up over herself and snuggles back down, a pillow hugged to her face. Messy red fringe falls over her eyes and flutters with every breath. "S'too early."

Remus watches the blankets slide down her back as she breathes, exposing pale oh-so-touchable skin. He can't resist, runs a finger down the shallow valley of her spine. One finger turns into one hand rubbing circles over smooth shoulders, which turns into an arm slipping beneath her to coil just under her breasts. Finally satisfied, he pulls her to rest snug against him.

"Who's the scarlet one now?" Tonks mutters as his fingers roam over certain sensitive places, but she holds his arms around her anyway.

* * *

**A/N: Have some fluff :3 Reviewers get a lovely morning in with the character of their choice.**


	46. Insides

_Insides_

He's told her so many times that he is wrong for her, given her so many reasons and chances to leave him. He is a danger and an outcast and will only cause her pain. And Tonks is _sick_ of hearing it.

"Yeah, well, my life hasn't exactly been all rainbows and lollipops, either," she fires back, a little more sharply than intended. "So you sprout a tail and shut yourself away one night a month. I change myself so often I don't have a 'self' at all."

Remus falls silent, measuring her with his eyes, and she fixes him with a stare so forceful he dares not contradict her.

"A Metamorphmagus is just a Wizarding novelty. Someone that gets discarded when people tire of her tricks, like an outgrown toy." Somewhere between words the anger and frustration melt into something quieter, a subtle melancholia she tries so hard to mask. "You're un-molded clay. You're everyone in the world, but you're no one. After a while people stop recognizing you and they forget you." Tonks pauses, suddenly insecure. "Remus, I don't even know what my own face looks like. How can I love someone when I don't have a '_me'_ to be loved back?"

* * *

**A/N: You hear a lot about Remus' insecurities, and I think people forget sometimes that Dora has them, too. I hope you like tonight's piece, and reviewers will get to have all their insecurities wiped away by the character they fancy :3**


	47. Months

_Months_

She is crying now, pulls back from the kiss he'd pressed so desperately to her lips. Remus tries to wipe her tears away but Tonks holds his hand to her cheek, and instead they leave tracks of searing heat over his fingers. "Didn't you need me then? I sure as hell needed you."

She flays him raw with those few words and he wishes she would say more, wishes to hear the violent, jagged things he knows he deserves. But she will not say them, and he tries to fill the sticky, throbbing silence. "Nymphadora, I…I did. I knew I did. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I had to hurt you again to realize…God, love, I do nothing but hurt you…"

She does not mean or want to add more to his burden; heaven knows he's probably flogged himself enough for all this pain. But…some things just need to be said.

"Those were the longest two months of my life, Remus. Being left doesn't get any easier the second time around, no matter what anyone says." He does not speak. Words are not what she needs, and rather than mince them he says all he can with gentle hands at her face, guiding her gaze to meet his.

Her dark eyes go on forever.

* * *

A/N: Here's a bit more angst. _Months_ is a companion drabble to #39, _Taste_, and was also inspired by Pink's song "Long Way to Happy". I hope you guys liked it, and as I am wearing my Slytherin shirt today, reviewers tonight will be granted a scathing parting shot at whichever character most deserves your wrath :)


	48. Square

_Square_

"Happy birthday!" she chirps, and plunks her gift into his lap.

Tonks positively glows tonight. Even the copper highlights she's done in her hair shine under the magic globes she'd hung about her flat for the occasion. Remus wishes he could say the same; he's feeling more weatherworn than usual. His birthday is not an occasion he likes to commemorate; he'd made that fact quite clear. Tonks would have none of it, of course. But she's kept it a rather sedate affair thus far, and thus has kept _him_ fairly comfortable.

She threads her arm through his, beaming. "Go on, then! Open it!"

Remus prays she didn't spend much money on him, not when he isn't even close to affording the gift he's been eyeing for her. But he tugs the pink ribbon on the square box and lifts the lid.

He pulls out a small leather book, cover embossed in gold with his initials. The inside is blank, cream pages heavy and smooth under his fingers. But the best part is the photograph taped to the inside cover.

Sirius had snapped it in the Grimmauld kitchen, catching them just as Tonks had leaned over to plant a kiss on Remus' cheek. Tonks had then proceeded to chase Sirius from the room, and almost hexed his nose off before he'd relinquished the incriminating photo.

"So, d'you like it? Are you still in love with me?" she giggles, leaning against his side.

He kisses her. "Still so terribly in love, Nymphadora."

* * *

**A/N: Aaaah, some much-needed fluffery :) Will bribe for reviews with birthday presents, regardless of when your birthday actually is!**


	49. Family

_Family_

"No-no, Teddybear, that's not for playing with," Tonks giggles, lifting their perfect little boy out of reach of the wand poking from of her back pocket. Remus looks up from his book, watches her raise Teddy up above her head and nuzzle his belly with her nose. Teddy shrieks with baby laughter, clapping and waving his chubby little hands in the air. "I know you want to play," she says, bouncing the child over her head, "You're a grabby little thing, you are! But that's mama's wand and she needs it to—hey!"

Chubby little hands find pink hair a very attractive plaything, and they yank. _Hard_.

Remus tries to hide the burst of laughter behind his book. It doesn't work nearly as well as he'd envisioned.

"Little help, here?" Tonks yelps, and Remus, still chuckling, extricates his son's sticky fingers from her hair. Once she's liberated he plunks Teddy back into her arms, and her smile is radiant as their baby scrunches up his face and morphs his turquoise mop a matching shade of pink.

* * *

**A/N: This is one of my absolute favorites :) Hooray for happy family fluff! Will bribe for reviews with the promise of looking through Teddy's baby book :)**


	50. Storm

_Storm_

So many times he has come to her with just shards of himself, and she has patiently put him back together. She would fill the spaces missing with the pieces of herself, and hold his hand in daylight as no one else has ever done before. She has never faltered, and still he couldn't bring himself to trust she would still want him.

She couldn't possibly. Not after his months with the pack. Not after all he's done to her.

There are so many pieces. He cannot force them all on her again. But she is here and she is clinging through this maelstrom to his robes as if to keep every last shred of him held fast together.

"Trust me," she pleads.

* * *

**A/N: And so we reach the halfway mark with a little more angst. I wrote this drabble, and the next three or so of them as well, in the car en-route to Virginia last month, and it was raining, and I was listening to "Pieces" by Red and "Fix You" by Coldplay in heavy rotation while fleshing out Storm. I hope you like, and I'm offering reviewers a spiffy new set of dress robes from Madam Malkin's this evening. I'm wearing my Sirius Black shirt and feeling a bit of a fashionista tonight :)**


	51. Middles

_Middles_

They sit with their backs against the arms of her couch, laughing. Tonks' knees are drawn up to her chest, toes curling in their polka-dot socks, and she reaches her arms around to catch and hold Remus' hands. Maybe she's had a bit too much to drink, but the wine has emboldened them both and she enjoys it, their conversation quick dissolving into giggles and a rather absurd word-association game.

"Goat," she snorts, and he rejoins with a rather emphatic "Aberforth!"

"Bruise," he tosses out.

"Whomping Willow! Hmmm…let's see…puddle!"

"You falling in it."

"You didn't even hesitate, you git!" she playfully accuses, lobbing a decorative pillow at him.

"Ah, it's your turn, Nymphadora," he chuckles, "Fudge."

"Stupid moron in a bowler," Tonks replies, taking a second to ponder her next, nervous and hopeful, "Tonks." And then quickly amends, "DO NOT say Nymphadora!"

"Pixie," Remus answers, and she feels herself swell a bit with joy. He, on the other hand, is even less sure of his hesitantly offered "Remus?"

He braces for the inevitable, waiting for "werewolf" to form on her perfect lips and tear into him and ruin—

"Hot cocoa!"

Mirth spills from her eyes, and Remus chides himself for ever having doubted her.

* * *

**A/N: I wrote this one while listening to "Girls and Boys in Love" by the Rumble Strips. It's such a cute playful kinna song. And t****hey so totally would start playing word games while they're drunk. :) Reviewers get a case of butterbeer for their troubles, since I'm still too young for alcohol!**


	52. Thanksgiving

_Thanksgiving_

Tonks grabs both his hands and dances backward on her toes, her playful, velvet-dark eyes overflowing with laughter. Remus smiles and pulls forward and Tonks' own momentum throws her into his arms, caught close to his chest as he spins with her around the sitting room. The bottom hem of her bright teal lingerie fans with the twirl of their bodies, and as soon as Remus loosens his hold she is once again giggling and tugging at his hands, expectant, insistent, guiding him after her to bed.

_God, she's gorgeous_.

For just one blissful moment Remus forgets to question this reality, and lets his pink-haired pixie lead him where she will.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, I was listening to the Veronica's song "4ever" and this is the clearest picture I've ever gotten froma song before. So I wrote it down, and drew part of it here: ****nancystagerat dot deviantart dot com/art/Come-With-Me-Tonight-133232282****. As always, I hope it made you smile, and reviewers will receive the dance partner of their choosing for a spin around the room :)**


	53. Life

_Life_

People who know Tonks would be surprised to hear she can't wait to move away from London. Nothing against the city; she's loved it and its many colorful faces all her life. It's just…not the life she's envisioned.

London is not the little house in the countryside, shared by herself and an imaginary faceless loving husband and their imaginary faceless beautiful children. It's been an image that's swum in and out of her head since she was little, often forgotten for long stretches before something will conjure it back to the front of her mind. Just a little house somewhere, with flowers and trees and grass and a porch swing and _space_. A little isolated, a little too small, but bright and sunny and completely their own.

She's never been able to invent faces for her imaginary family, though not for lack of trying. Tonks'll bet that almost every little girl in the world has at some point tried to picture the man she'll marry. No face she'd come up with has ever looked _right_, and her phantoms would never solidify into people.

But now, as she holds the tiniest, most perfect baby boy in the world, she's never wanted that imagined life so badly before. Tonks smiles up into Remus' eyes, pulled against his side, her fantasy so finally touchably close; those hoped-for loves have shown themselves at last and she will hold them tight for as long as they will let her.

* * *

**A/N: This drabble was heavily inspired by the songs "Simple Life" by the Weepies and "Mushaboom" by Feist, because they are lovely songs and everyone should hear them at some point in their lives. Tonight I'm going to lure reviewers with a dollhouse with which to live out any imagined lives one wishes. And not a dinky dollhouse, either. A doll palace or something.**


	54. Lightning

_Lightning_

Teddy Remus Lupin has the lung capacity of a Fwooper that's just had its tailfeathers yanked out, complete with the magical bird's talent for driving listeners insane. The baby isn't taking well to his first nighttime thunderstorm, and is making his distress known loud and clear.

Remus attempts to roll over, to pretend he's still asleep, but his equally exhausted wife is more than savvy to his designs.

"Nuh-uh. It's your turn," Tonks groans, pulling the covers up and burying her face in the pillow. "I shushed _and_ fed him an hour ago."

Remus sighs heavily, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and collects their son from his crib. "Shhh," he soothes, rubs Teddy's back, kisses the boy's turquoise hair. "It's okay, Teddybear, shhh. I'm right here." As tired as he is, Remus knows he wouldn't have been able to relax, not with his poor little man so scared. They'll stay up all night if that's what it takes to make their child smile.

For the moment the backrub works and Teddy's fearful shrieks fade to quiet fussing into his father's shoulder. That is, until the next flash of lightning floods the bedroom.

Remus sits back on the side of the bed and Tonks props herself up, cooing to her frightened boy. She tickles his belly, nuzzles his nose with her own. "Daddy's got you, Teddybear," she murmurs. Remus pulls her close with his free arm, and soon both mother and son are held tight and asleep.

* * *

**A/N: I wish there were more canon moments like this. *le sigh* Anyhoo, reviewers tonight get to read our happy little Teddykins a bedtime story and enjoy his adorable technicolor hair kaleidoscope :)**


	55. Air

_Air_

Every once in a while Remus will wake in the middle of the night and find himself suffocating a bit. His bedmate will have sleepily thrown an arm over him, and in her dreams Tonks often shifts enough that her embrace turns into a dead weight over his neck. Hence the suffocating. Tonight is no exception.

He shoves her off of him and all she does is roll onto her side, still lost to whatever reverie had induced the need to cuddle. Her hair hasn't changed color, though, so he assumes it must be something happy, and pulls her back against his chest. He may not be the subject, but he can bloody well compete for her affection with whatever dreams have kept her pink tonight.

* * *

**A/N: Mmmkay, little bit of artistic lisence with this one, but I like thinking that Remus is the mildly jealous type. Mildly, mind you. He'll never ever show it, but he doesn't want to share his Dora with anyone. Not even with her dreams :) Reviewers tonight get to cuddle with the character of their choosing!**


	56. Spirit

_Spirit_

Her patronus is so hard to summon now. All her happy –_God, so deliriously happy_—memories make her want to ruin things and cry like the child she knows she is. All the better that it's difficult to call up, Tonks thinks, hating and dreading the sight of the wolf that has beaten and stolen her love. But she still tries, and that terrible great wolf might as well rake its claws down her back with every memory she tests to see which one will work.

Finally she finds the thought that brings her hope and hurts the most and her silver wolf flows into being, huge and bright and apologetic as she remembers lying beside Remus in the morning, stroking the side of his face gilt by the golden light that filters through her curtains and thinking she could stay like this forever. Its tail is between its legs, head dipped low to nose the brown hair hiding her face and it lies down behind her, curves its great silver body around her back. Her protector. Here where Remus should've been. Here until the morning.

* * *

**A/N: I got this one from listening to "Untouched" by the Veronicas and "Little Bird" by the Weepies, and recently drew this: ****www dot nancystagerat dot deviantart dot com/art/Spirit-137269836**** in response to this drabble and those same songs. Just thought I'd share :) Reviewers tonight will be getting the opportunity to create the most awesome happy memory with the character of their choosing to help out with Patronus practice! **


	57. Winter

_Winter_

_It's just sex_, she tells herself, she's done this a few times before, but her heart races in her throat and her hands tremble against the shirt she pushes from his arms and sex has never felt so frightening or complicated or careful like this before. She's helped divest him of his robes but draws her hands back against her chest, awkward and shy as she nervously laughs and turns her face away and waits for him to remove his underthings himself. He stands there, naked before her, unsure and blushing and she dimly realizes she is still fully clothed and shouldn't she be following his lead and naked by now?

His eyes lock with hers and they are soft and warm and clouded with what she hopes is longing as she fumbles with the buttons on her robes. He covers her hands with his, takes the fastenings and makes short work of them, and then his hands slide beneath her shirt and she raises her arms for him and it is discarded, he reaches around her back and unfastens her bra with more ease than she could've managed for herself…

…But now all that's left between her skin and his hands are her own arms and she doesn't know why she's self-conscious when she can be as beautiful as anyone could want but she doesn't know how _he_ wants her to be and _it's just sex_—

His hands cup her face and she finds her every worry kissed away.

* * *

**A/N: I don't know about you, but it feels good to be back! My life disappeared somewhere between biochemistry and memorizing Shakespeare, but now I've a free month to finish up this baby, and I apologize for taking such a long unannounced hiatus. I like to think of this one taking place in early December of OotP, in case anyone was wondering why I chose Winter for a prompt. **

**As always, will bribe for reviews with your favorite Marauding canine to curl up on the couch and keep you warm!**


	58. Days

_Days_

How many days has he watched her? How many days in a row has he come to this same chair at night with his brandy and his books only to lose his head to thoughts of her? She's so young, bright and full of life he cannot match. She wears her hair and clothes in ways that should upset him and they _do_ upset his sense of what is right and normal for a man to find attractive in a woman. She makes him a right mess with those playful looks she sometimes sends his way across the table, those instances their eyes meet and just as he's plucked up the courage to smile she dips her face again and looks away. She's beautiful and mystifying and maddening and he wants her just to _see him_ as he's never wanted anything before.

And somehow now the brandy and the books he hides behind are in the way as she waltzes into the room, perches herself on the arm of his chair, leans over to inspect his book. She seems so strong and sure here in this moment, brushing pink hair back out of her face, but the eyes that only just capture his are still, impossibly, painfully shy.

He finds it much easier to smile at her now.

* * *

**A/N: I blame the Weepies for this drabble, particularly for the lyric "No amount of coffee, no amount of cryin'/No amount of whiskey, no amount of wine/ No,no,no,no,no, nothing else will do/I've got to have you." **

**Anyhoo, enjoy, and reviewers today will receive a glass of brandy and a book, behind which is the perfect vantage point to admire the character of your choice :)**


	59. Brown

_Brown_

Tonks stares into her cold cocoa, wet brown hair lank and dripping where it sticks to her face.

It's humid in her kitchen, windows open and curtains wafting despite no detectable breeze. It's sunny, the day is perfect, she shouldn't feel so cold. The scalding shower didn't help. She couldn't make herself drink the hot cocoa. Nothing works because he's taken the few things he'd had here, left only her own clothes hanging in her closet and suddenly without his shoes beside hers by the door the flat seems too big and too empty to hold her all by herself.

She pushes herself up from the table and tears through the cabinet under her sink, shoves things aside until she finds the bottle of firewhiskey she'd been given and not touched since she'd made Auror.

It's her day off. She knows it won't warm her enough. She shouldn't be cold. She shouldn't need this. She's stronger than that. But he's said so many stupid things and now there's no one to look forward to when she comes home at night and no number of blankets she's pulled over herself can make her feel as wanted and safe as she'd been with him beside her.

Tonks pours the liquor into her cocoa, winces at the first sip. She doesn't want it, she's not a drinker, she doesn't even like firewhiskey. But she's dying for him and it hasn't even been one full day, and she'll need to sleep sometime.

* * *

**A/N: Aww, poor girl :( Reviewers today get a Marauder of their very own to meet you at the door with a hug and hot cocoa when you come home!**


	60. And

_And_

His shoes beside hers at the door seem too intimate a place for them to be, like a secret shared, and this should scare him. "And" should seem like too small a word between their names. Remus _and_ Tonks. Not enough letters, not enough distance. His clothes in her closet? It's closer than he'd ever dreamed of being with anyone.

"That's it, Remus? Sheesh, here I'd thought I'd need to shrink most of my things to fit anything else in that closet. Sorry 'bout all the mess, I promise I won't have you living in filth for too much—"

She's laughing and he loves it and he finds he's laughing, too, and he smirks and flicks his wand and all her things fly back where they belong.

"—longer," she finishes. A smirk twists her mouth and her pixie's eyes glint with the joyful promise of lots and lots of trouble.

"Well, then, since you've done all that hard work for me, you lovely man, what say you and I have a bit of playtime?"

_You and I_. He didn't think it was possible for those eyes of hers to hold any more mischief. They prove him delightfully wrong as she whispers with her mouth close to his ear. "I can't stand having my bed all neat and made-up for more than three seconds with you in the place."

Remus _and_ Tonks.

It sounds so nice put like that.

* * *

**A/N: Apologies for the late update, but The Nightmare Before Christmas and Enchanted were both on one after the other and I didn't have the heart to miss either :) Reviewers tonight will be receiving a Marauder of your very own for some "playtime," whatever that may entail.**


	61. Colorless

_Colorless_

Remus sings her to sleep with_ I love you_'s in her ear, holds her close in a tangle of tired limbs and soft, soft kisses he can't tell if she feels. Her chest rises and falls with breaths long and slow and even and she is so much more beautiful in the milky light that filters through the curtains than even in the memories that got him through this last long year alive. All he knows is that the world no longer exists except for them and this bed and this moment, and her hair is silk sifting through his fingers and he finds he doesn't care what color it is, just that it's here and she's here and she's not given up on him, not yet.

* * *

**A/N: In case it's unclear, this drabble is set the night or two before Dumbledore's funeral, soon after the infamous HBP hospital wing scene. To entice you all to review I'm offering a night out--or in--with the character you fancy best, for a chance to do whatever it is that'll make the two of you forget for a while that anyone else exists ;)**


	62. Summer

_Summer_

Nymphadora Tonks is not prepared for this. Remus has got her down to her underthings and draped over his arms and he is swinging her body out over the water like some kind of spastic pendulum, laughing and threatening to toss her sorry arse smack into the lake. Tonks shrieks in his ear, kicking and fighting and clinging like a monkey to his neck.

"Don't you _dare_, Remus John Lupin! Don't you even—_aiee!_" she yelps and practically somersaults over his shoulder to get her feet back on the safe solid bank. But he manages to keep his hold on her and she is once again held fast to his chest and grabbing on for dear life.

"_I can't swim_, you stupid great git! What part of 'put me down' don't you understand?!"

But he understands "put me down" all too well and grins and she realizes she's said something _very, very stupid _just as he lets go, and Tonks suddenly becomes much better acquainted with the shallows. She comes up sputtering and Remus is doubled over laughing, leaning against a tree for support. _Fine_, she thinks, glaring and shaking the water from her hair and trying very hard not to be distracted by the fact that he's just in his unders. If that's the way he wants it, two can play at that game.

"You are _so_ going to pay for this!" she growls, and, grinning evilly, pushes his pile of clothes into the water.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, okay, before anyone throws any stones, I blame the Beatles. I was listening to "Got To Get You Into My Life" and this was the image I got. Besides, if anyone gives me the not-canon argument, I will plug my ears and insist that Remus didn't get his werewolf assignment until the middle to the end of August and this drabble is set at the end of July. So there :P Today reviewers get to spend a sunny summer day eating popsicles and drinking lemonade with the character of your choosing!**


	63. Independence

_Independence_

It's almost February and Remus is frozen and sick and starving and he's never felt so desperately lonely in his life. None of the food he's stolen for himself has stayed down these last few days, though whether the ailment is physical or otherwise he doesn't know. It makes no difference which it is. He's run away from everything he loves, and for what? To wallow in self-pity? To grasp at hopeless straws among a pack that won't even let him speak? To reach for scraps of hope only to have them beaten back again and again?

He's accomplished nothing since he's been here, has only served to alienate the pack further from the alliance the Order hoped he would achieve, and in doing so has generated so much unnecessary pain for the one person that's meant the world and far too much to him. He feels like such a waste of skin and bones and breath still hopelessly tied to the woman he'd thought he'd cut away. A waste of her time and the months they'd spent falling so hard for each other. He can't give her anything, can't make any promises. He can't even fix what he's broken, and the more he thinks about her the more he's convinced that he'll never be able to leave her behind, not in truth.

He belongs in this sorry sordid life.

* * *

**A/N: Sorry to burst your bubbles with more angst, but this time I lay the blame on My Chemical Romance. It's all "House of Wolves"'s fault. Reviewers today will be given a ninja suit and stealth and tracking lessons to better sneak among the werewolves and steal Remus back to the life he actually belongs in ;)**


	64. Sunrise

_Sunrise_

The world has no right to be this beautiful, not when Tonks has been awake all night and has only just realized what time it is as the sun peeks its rosy corona over the trees. Her body wants nothing more than to sink into bed and sleep 'til forever after a busy night of work and then pacing until the full moon hid its face back beneath the horizon. Or as much of "horizon" anyone could get, living in London.

Some invisible giant brush widens the watercolor stripes of gold and bronze and strawberry pink and she's sure it's safe now, practically skips through the flat collecting extra blankets and the massive bar of Honeyduke's Best Dark she's been saving for a morning like this. Remus wouldn't let her stay with him at Grimmauld after she got off work last night, but he never said anything about her flitting by to help him wake up in the morning, now, did he?

Careful to keep the lime green tassels of her scarf out of the bubbling cauldron she lifts from her fire, Tonks hunts for the Floo powder; no one in their right mind would trust her to Apparate anywhere with a full pot of soup, magically spill-proof or not, and neither would she. Potato soup sounds like something Remus would like, doesn't it? She hopes so as she tosses the green dust into the fire.

* * *

**A/N: Before anyone mentions Umbridge's Floo Network surveillance, this drabble is set fairly early in OotP, probably late September - early Octoberish, very soon after Tonks and Remus start seeing each other. Reviewers tonight will be receiving a free pass to visit whomever they choose via Floo network, complete with the soup of your choosing and a big ol' slab of Honeyduke's Best :)**


	65. School

_School_

"I wish I could've been at school with you," she says, laughing at the conclusion of a particularly entertaining Marauders escapade.

"But would you want to be at Hogwarts at the same time as Sirius?" Remus smirks, and Tonks weighs Sirius' teasing versus cousinly affection.

"It would've been nice to have someone to stick up for me," she replies after some thought. Tonks laughs, turning her Auror's badge over in her hands. "I think a giant growling black dog might've put off some people spreading their nasty rumors. I could've gotten Sirius a great spiky collar! I might've even gotten Prefect."

Remus is well-acquainted with Tonks' less-than-perfect school years and the gossip that had circulated about her morphing, had become so on their many nights of tea and talking down in the Grimmauld kitchen. He was also quite familiar with why the no-magic-in-the-corridors rule had come between Tonks and the Prefect badge she'd wanted so badly.

"Wasn't that why you went for Auror?"

"Yeah. Yeah, it was," Tonks answers, toying with her badge. It was true. She'd gotten so good at defending herself and those weaker than her from the wizarding teenage community that Auror was the only career she'd considered. Besides, she and Remus wouldn't have been friends had they attended school together anyway, she thinks. She'd been too hostile to Non-Charlie Gryffindor boys, sweet and shy or not.

Remus kisses her hair, and she has to smile. "Teach people to pick on Hufflepuffs _now_, hm?"

* * *

**A/N: We badgers don't get nearly enough love around here. Anyhoo, I hope you all like, and for reviews I'll get Remus and Sirius to host Storytime: Marauders Edition just for you :)**


	66. What

_What_

Tonks trawls through Diagon Alley, completely at a loss for what to get Remus for his birthday. She can think of a hundred things he _needs_, but would hurt his pride to be given. It'd feel too much like charity, and the last thing she wants is for Remus to think she pities him when he's the one person she loves and admires most in the world.

_Anything practical is absolutely out_, she thinks as she passes Madam Malkin's. But anything too expensive is also not on her potential gift list as she stops at the front windows of Flourish & Blotts. The display is of dragonhide-bound tomes with gilt pages and illuminated letters that make her want to pore over them, regardless of what they're actually about.

Tonks steps inside, but she doesn't know what books Remus' already read or what subjects he's interested in, and makes a face when she comes across a stray copy of _Hairy Snout, Human Heart_. Well, _that_ certainly wasn't on her list. _Too trite_, she thinks, _and probably insulting_.

But a sedate little leather journal display catches her eye, the sign above them boasting personalization for an extra three Knuts, and she weighs her options. Professors couldn't say no to notebooks, right?

Tonks turns one over in her hands; she can see him carrying it, well-worn and tucked into a deep coat pocket. It's a nice picture in her mind.

"Can I get 'R J L' put on the front of this?'

* * *

**A/N: "Happy Christmas, Ron!" **

**I had to go there, it's my favorite line in the SS film. :P So here you have a gift-giving drabble on this most gift-giving of days, and to entice you to review I'll send you all the gift of your choosing from Flourish & Blotts, Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, or Quality Quidditch Supplies :) Or one from all three, iffen you're so inclined. Merry Crimboes, everyone!**


	67. Shade

_Shade_

They sit beneath a tree towards the secluded fringes of the park, Remus' head in Tonks' lap as she absently sifts his hair through her fingers. They'd come here to escape the incredulous (and often disapproving) looks they received from other park-goers upon sighting a pink-haired girl wearing mismatched thigh-high socks and rebellious-looking boots being innocently intimate with a man so very innocuous by comparison.

"You look like someone just fed your puppy to a Skrewt," Tonks chirps, admiring the light through the leaves dappled on Remus' face. "What's the matter?"

"Even the muggles disapprove of this relationship," he laughs a little, trying so hard to inject the words with humor that doesn't reach his eyes. Tonks smoothes one gentle hand over his cheek, holds it there to guide his gaze to hers.

"Are you happy here?" she asks.

Remus takes a moment to admire her face, pretty and pale and tinted with a sweet sincere concern no one else has ever gotten close enough to show him. The sideways smile he offers back is warm and thankful.

"How could I not be?"

"Then don't pay the muggles any mind," she answers simply, and drops a kiss to his forehead.

* * *

**A/N: I blame the Weepies. Again. I wrote this one while listening to "Don't Pay No Mind," which goes "don't pay no mind, baby/ don't pay no mind, they're crazy/ they don't know you at all/ they won't care if you fall/ hear me now, you'll be fine/ don't pay no mind" and thought it pretty appropriate. Reviewers will be receiving a sunny day in the park with which to spend with the character of your choice :)**


	68. Enemies

_Enemies_

"He was a Sixth year Hufflepuff, I was in Fifth. Took me out twice, and then asked if I'd morph into some Gryffindor girl who wouldn't give him the time of day." Tonks wears a wry smirk. "I ran away and cried on Charlie's shoulder. Then the rumors started, and almost the entire school thought I'd morph into someone else for sex." She sighs, laughs a little. "I got _really_ _good_ at hexes about then, and no one came near me anymore. Lost Prefect, though..."

Remus is slightly relieved that she'd been just as unlucky in love at school as he'd been, but that hasn't yet put his mind at ease with regards to afterwards.

"Since I made Auror I've only had two boyfriends," Tonks continues, not quite wanting to meet his eyes. "I dug myself in deep with the first one. Then he asked why I didn't morph myself prettier when we made love." She toys with the fastenings on her robes, eyes hard and narrow. "A year of my life down the drain," she spits.

Remus is surprised; he'd expected to feel much more threatened by her past suitors. But she leans against his side and twines an arm around his waist, wearing an easy, unassuming smile that's come to be so very Tonks, and so very just for him. "What about the other?" he asks, mouth against her hair.

She laughs and reaches up to kiss the hinge of his jaw. "I think you know the bloke."

* * *

**A/N: Not much to say here, but reviewers today are getting duelling lessons from the pink-haired hexmaster herself :)**


	69. Purple

_Purple_

"Must you?" she sighs heavily as she brushes past him, striding across the lawn to strap Harry's trunk beneath her broom. She's switched her hair from purple to pink, he notices.

"'Must I' what," Remus' eyebrows disappear beneath his fringe, "_Nymphadora_?"

Oooh, he's giving her that smirk of his, the one that always makes her blood boil and then collect in places blood shouldn't be collecting just now. It's dead sexy and the last thing Tonks wants is to let him know it's got her all flustered at this quite inopportune moment.

"_That_, you git."

"What, call you _Nymphadora_?"

"Keep it up, wolf man. I dare you," she grins, and bounces to join Mad-Eye and the rest for take-off. Her name sounds almost excusable when he says it, she thinks, giving the sling with Harry's trunk a final tug.

_Almost_.

* * *

**A/N: Flirting is cute :3 Reviewers get to take a nighttime joyride on the broom of their choice with whomever the'd like for company! :)**


	70. Sunset

_Sunset_

He says nothing, and she has never looked—_or felt_, he's sure—so defeated.

Tonks finally starts to surrender his robes, and as her face breaks all the world and all his walls come crashing away and crumble to dust with just that slight release of pressure from her hands, and a frantic scream rises in his head and _he_ _cannot let her let him go_.

She had held the shreds of him together when he would have—_should have_—lived and died a lowly mongrel with his pack, thoughts of her all that kept him tied to this existence when otherwise he would have begged for death before abandoning those perfect elysian memories. He hadn't dared to hope she would still be here, waiting, hoping as he had, if he managed to return. But here she is, those silenced dreams made manifest, pleading, still waiting and wanting him so much more than he could have imagined with pain so dark in her eyes he could fall into them and drown.

His hands reach up to cover hers and he holds them to his chest. She does not get the chance to release his lapels, her tight, anguished face not quite meeting his eyes, not quite believing the gesture.

"Please, Remus," she begs in a voice so small he has to strain to hear it. "Don't do this just because everyone's told you to. Don't give me hope."

* * *

**A/N: Ah yes, another for the infamous HBP hospital wing scene. _Sunset_ is companion to and set directly after drabble #50, _Storm_. Please excuse the frequent lengthy sentences. I was trying to give a sense of urgency and breaking things up would have put pauses in places I really didn't intend them. I hope you all like, and reviewers will be receiving a porch swing and a sunset to share with the character of your choosing!**


	71. Light

_Light_

Ever since he'd been a boy in his parents' home, Remus has, somewhat embarrassedly, wondered what it is that keeps a couple attracted to each other after the birth of children. Especially what keeps a man so. Not that he's ever feared he would lose his attraction to Tonks once their baby was born, but he's seen too many Daily Prophet scandals about which wizard having which affair with which witch, and it always seemed to be that the poor, betrayed, and often pretty, wife would be left behind to worry about their—often very young—children.

But Tonks is sitting in a puddle of sunlight on the floor, wearing his white shirt open and pooling around her over the knickers she'd slept in last night, cooing and murmuring to the two-week-old baby in her arms with such love in her eyes that Remus needs to _close_ his eyes to commit it all to memory. He's never seen anything more beautiful in his life, and pity rises under his skin for any man foolish enough to throw something so perfect away. As he has learned the hard way.

* * *

**A/N: Also not much to say about this one, but I felt they deserved a quick happy moment in the middle of the war. Reviewers today get a window with a puddle of sunlight to sit in with the character of your choosing :3**


	72. Teammates

_Teammates_

They fight back-to-back, sweating and bloodied and filled with electric adrenaline fear, but still alive. Hurricanes of magic and dizzying red and green and all-colored swatches of light thrown from so many wands scream past and their heads are spinning and they don't even know which spell is who's anymore but as long as it's aimed away it's friendly fire and so long as the other is standing firm behind they can go on, they can hope for one more second, and another, and another, that they might make it home.

* * *

**A/N: Again, please excuse that this drabble is one singular very long sentence. It's their last battle. There's no time to pause and catch your breath. Sorry the last one of the year is angst, but tomorrow's will be happy, I promise :3 Reviewers get to welcome home their favorite characters from battle, and in my world, nobody dies.**


	73. Lunch

Lunch

"Tell me you didn't."

"Didn't what?" Remus asks around a mouthful of chocolate, trying to nonchalantly crumple the gold foil remains of Molly Weasley's Easter gift to him.

"Don't tell me you just ate that _entire_ chocolate dragon egg for lunch."

Tonks tries and fails to look authoritative from under baby blue fringe she keeps trying to blow out of her eyes, hands planted on hips from which low-cut jeans expose a tantalizing band of bare skin. He swallows and offers a smile so innocent it's incriminating. "Then I won't tell you."

"You are going to get so sick, Remus Lupin, and I am going to laugh." She pouts. "If _I_ ate all that in one go, you'd whine at me for not sharing."

A Marauder's grin splits his face. "Who said I wasn't going to share?"

He catches her in his arms, and Tonks finds herself soundly kissed.

* * *

**A/N: Apologies for the excessively late update, but start the new year off with some chocolatey fluff! Will bribe for reviews with a giant chocolate dragon egg, and the character of your choice inside to pop out and surprise you!**


	74. Heart

_Heart_

Remus moans and gasps into her hair and Tonks convulses, collapses against him, eyes closed, breathing hard. Sated bodies rest, still joined together. His pulse flutters beneath her cheek and she would be content to never move again if it means they'll share this for just a little longer. Her white dress lies forgotten on the floor, but Remus takes her left hand and presses a kiss to her knuckles, lingering on the gold band that feels so foreign and yet so at home there.

She wants to laugh and scream and burst into tears all at once, shout out the window that everything she's never dared to dream has come to rest in her lap right in this very moment. But he murmurs his love against her hair and strokes her cheek with too-gentle fingers and all she has the strength left to do is bury her face in his heartbeat.

* * *

**A/N: Heart is a compantion to #18, _Home_, in case anyone was wondering. I love them happy. Reviewers get a kiss from whoever they choose :)**


	75. When

_When_

"Just look at the little guy," Tonks murmurs, stroking the backs of her fingers against their sleeping boy's cheek. "He's got your nose." She flashes that radiant Tonksian smile up at Remus and he rests a hand on the small of her back, leaning over to admire both wife and son.

"Maybe right _now_," Remus chuckles, "Give it five minutes. He'll be all you."

"Lookit his sweet little face, our Teddybear." She pauses for a moment, eyes lighting up like a giddy ten-year-old. "Remus! We need to get him a teddy bear outfit!"

"Planning for Halloween rather far in advance, are we?"

"You bet your arse. He's gonna look so cute!" Tonks chatters, grabbing Remus' hand. "Well, unless he decides he wants to go as a frog or something and morphs himself green and slimy, in which case Operation Teddy Bear Baby may not go according to plan…"

Remus drops a kiss to the top of her head. "Shhh."

"Oh, right."

* * *

**A/N: More happy :3 To answer a question I received yesterday, neither this nor any future drabbles will be AU in which Remus and Tonks live. I'm too much a canon-worshipper when it comes to Harry Potter, unfortunately for them. I do, however, have an AU oneshot in the works, but that probably won't be up for a while yet. Anyhoo, reviewers today get to go trick-or-treating with Teddykins (as a toddler, when he's old enough to appreciate candy)!**


	76. Fire

_Fire_

Pain and hatred and a deep, deep sickness sing with adrenaline through her, spells exploding from her wand with the force of the rage that pulses with her blood.

"Go on, then, _niece_, protect pwecious widdle Potter! I'll save _you_ for the moon!" Bellatrix taunts, hair blown back from a face twisted and glowing with triumph at the mere thought of her next blow. "Your _dear_ were-husband will appreciate the pwetty widdle _snack_!"

Tonks fights like a cornered animal, boxed in by words that spin like solid objects around her head. Wrath ruins her precision and spell after spell after spell, none make contact with the shrieking woman Tonks would give anything to silence. Red jets of Stunning spells whip past her face and Tonks knows it's Ron behind them; one hits its mark, fells a masked Death Eater from his broom and she feels a dark sort of pride rise in her. Ron's face is set and pale behind Harry's glasses.

This is not her battle, and if it is to be her trial by fire she will fight to her last breath to protect the brave boy in her charge. Vengeance will wait until he is back in his family's arms.

Green light singes the tail of her broom and the sky rings with Bellatrix' laughter.

"_We'll see how much your werewolf loves you then!_"

* * *

**A/N: Ah yes, another death eater I despise and yet oddly love...? Reviewers get to take spell shots at Bella without the danger of being shot back.**


	77. Children

_Children_

Remus leans his back against the arm of the couch and Tonks stretches out over him, their legs entangled. Her head rests against his jumper, comfortable against his heartbeat, his hands stroking back unruly pink hair. Her eyes are so hopeful, and his, he fears, so very withdrawn.

His voice is hoarse. "I could never give you anything, not like a…" The word '_husband'_ hovers, unspoken, on his tongue.

"Since when has that mattered to me?" she asks. "Since when have I needed anything but you?" Her arms tighten around him, a physical promise she's never broken before.

"You'll tire of that," he says, holds her head to his chest. "Someday you'll look back on all this and wonder why you thought I'd be worth the—"

"Bollocks." The look she gives him is fierce. And brutally honest. "Try a real argument, please."

He traces the outline of her face. "Children," he rasps. "It wouldn't be easy, if they …" Remus swallows. "…If they were like me. The disgrace that follows a child, a family like that…"

"Are you asking if I'd be ashamed of them?"

He doesn't want to look at her.

"Remus, they'd be _our _children." Tonks raises her face, dark eyes glassy. "What does it matter if they're werewolves or metamorphmagi or squibs or—" She stops, catches back the waver that's crept around the edges of her words. "They'd still be _ours_. What difference would it make?"

* * *

**A/N: Nervous!Remus is nervous. And Forceful!Tonks is forceful :) Reviewers get to sprawl out on the couch with the character of your choice and spend the day comfortable and chatting :)**


	78. Rain

_Rain_

Water drums against his back, runs in streams down the small perfect breasts he kisses, licks away the water beaded there. The tiles are cold against their skin as he holds her against the wall, but the rest of his world is blazing, searing hot, burning despite the water that runs from their bodies down the drain. She holds him tight within the circle of her legs, her heels dig into the small of his back and he nearly loses himself to the force of her need he wants to make last but wants so badly to fulfill. She claws at his back, as much to hold herself up as to drive him on, begs for what he knows _no one else_ will ever get the chance give her. Her gasps are lost in the hiss of the shower, but he feels them in the sharp rise and fall of her chest at his mouth. The flush beneath her skin is as much from his touch as it is from the steam that swirls around them, and just for now, he lets it drive the war from his mind. Just for now, he can let himself believe that he deserves her.

* * *

**A/N: Reviewers get a violently-colored umbrella for an afternoon stroll in the rain with whomever they choose. :3**


	79. Work

_Work_

"First watch tonight?"

Tonks slouches over the table, head falling forward onto her arms. "Mmmm-hmmm."

Remus settles in across the table from her, tea in hand. "Mind if I stay a bit, Shapeshifting Mudblood Filth?"

"Suit yourself, Werewolf-In-Residence." It's slightly muffled by her arms.

"Aren't we chipper this evening," he smirks, laugh lines deepening over the rim of his mug. She raises her head just enough that dark eyes are visible through pink fringe.

"You bet." Tonks plops her head back down. "Nothing wakes you up like a warm Black Family Welcome from Auntie Walburga."

"At least she had the decency to wait until you broke a couple of heirlooms."

The pink head jolts up. "No one saw that but _you_."

"No, but they heard it loud and clear." Remus chuckles at the way her face reddens and then abruptly pales before she drops her head back to the table. "Must be handy, morphing away those pesky signs of embarrassment. D'you use that trick often, or is it some kind of special occasion?"

"I save it for when I'm getting the mickey taken out of me by werewolves I hardly know." Her shoulders shake with suppressed laughter.

"Well, then, allow me to re-introduce myself. Remus Lupin, at your service." He bows over the table with a flourish.

She raises her head and takes the hand he offers, trying to hide a smirk of her own. "Nymphadora Tonks. Call me Nymphadora and I'll hex you to next week."

* * *

**A/N: I couldn't resist the shot to use Mrs. Black's artful name-calling again :) Reviewers get to spend the day in Grimmauld Place with the OotP crew, minus any Order members you'd rather not attend. **


	80. Weeks

_Weeks_

Tonks has popped off to retrieve something she'd forgotten in the Apothecary, and Remus pages absently through Flourish & Blotts' display copy of _Unfogging the Future _to give himself a little room to think.

He can see Sirius now, sitting in the Grimmauld drawing room, just waiting and raring to go with _I told you so_'s and _was I right_'s as soon as Remus Apparates back.

He _hates_ it when Sirius is right.

It's only been two whole weeks, and already Nymphadora's ingrained herself so far in his thoughts Remus doubts he'll ever be able to evict her. She'd held his hand as they'd strolled down Diagon Alley, looped their arms together, and that sunny Tonksian smile of hers hadn't once been spared for anyone else but him. Even though every so often he'll catch someone staring. Some are merely bewildered by the sight of such a flashy girl with such a bland older man, but others look at them with open contempt and hurry past as if he were something rotting between the cobblestones. No doubt they'd recognized him from "the Incident" at Hogwarts. It'd been all over the Prophet.

But Tonks is trotting back to him now, beaming and toting two massive ice cream cones. "Mine's the Strawberry. I got you Death by Triple Chocolate Fudge Brownie Swirl," she says, plunking the cone into his hand. "Chocolaty-est thing Fortescue's ever made. I hope you're planning on sharing."

Remus chuckles and threads their fingers together.

* * *

**A/N: This one makes me happy. And Fortescue's is having a special, so reviewers get a massive ice cream cone of any flavor and the company of your choice to share it with :)**


	81. Touch

_Touch_

There are many different ways for one to touch another, and Remus doesn't doubt that most of those ways were invented by Nymphadora Tonks. Her presence is such a tangible thing, sweeping into the room long before she sets foot inside, and then even the merest glance from those pixie's eyes is enough to set his skin prickling. She's looking at him now, over the edge of a book he doubts she's actually reading and he feels her gaze settle over him like a caress, sends a shiver through his spine as if her fingers had run up it. Remus smiles; he knows that look well, and if he's not mistaken it's the one that often leads to physical touch before too long.

"Interesting story, Nymphadora?" he asks, doing his utmost to exude nonchalance over the rim of his tea.

"Not nearly as interesting as the hair that keeps falling so adorably into your eyes," she says, holding her place with a bent page corner. "It's really quite distracting, Remus. Something should be done about it."

Ah yes, she's pushing herself up off the sofa, just as he'd thought. And sure enough, Tonks waltzes over to his armchair, book forgotten, and smoothes his fringe out of his face. He closes his eyes as her fingertips graze his forehead.

* * *

  
**A/N: I loved this prompt :) It was an excuse to write intimacy without it being too much. Reviewers get an awesome book, and the character of your choosing to read it aloud. And distract you from the story.**


	82. Earth

_Earth_

For someone who, at a first glance, would seem to be up in the clouds, Dora Tonks has her feet solidly on the ground and her priorities in order. Her work is not something taken lightly, and tonight she sits at her kitchen table surrounded by a satchelful of case files. A pair of kitschy glasses perches on her nose for form rather than function, but they fail to hide the line between her brows deepening with every document she peruses.

"Bloody _rubbish_!" she barks and Remus starts up from the couch, upsetting his newspaper. It falls open to a photo of Harry, bloodied, distraught, and oppressed by photographers' flashbulbs. In the Department of Mysteries. After the battle.

Tonks drops the glasses and dips her face into her hand, hiding her eyes. In her outburst she's swiped a pile of case files to the floor.

"Scrimgeour's still pushing me reports on Sirius."

Remus' stomach constricts.

"Apparently this week he's been sighted in Burma, Miami, Oslo, and Saskatchewan." Tonks' voice is bitter, dripping with coagulated acid and grief.

He rises to stand behind her chair, and Remus rubs his hands up and down her arms. "If only."

* * *

  
**A/N: I miss Padfoot, too. Reviewers get postcards from Sirius' vacation in Miami, where I am convinced the veil actually leads. ;) **


	83. Club

_Club_

Sirius bangs his mug against the table like a gavel, garnering the attention of the couple sitting opposite him. He's slightly inebriated, much to the amusement of the female half of said couple, and the chagrin of the male half.

"This meeting of the Late Night Kitchen Club is now in session," Sirius laughs, a bit of spiked coffee slopping onto his sleeve, and Remus beats him to the drying charm.

"I wanted to be the Kitchen _Brigade_," Tonks pipes.

"Quiet, you," Sirius waves a dismissive hand at her, "You'll speak when addressed by the Grand Poobah, missy. Tonight we'll be discussing the mating habits of domesticated lycanthropes—"

"We most certainly will _not_," Remus says, a strained sort of irritation playing on his face. Tonks, on the other hand, shrieks with laughter, and Sirius' dark eyes glint with mischief Remus wishes _wouldn't_ lead to an in-depth inquisition into the current state of his love life. But alas, if wishes were winged horses, Remus would have stablefuls of Abraxans and a lot less embarrassment to show for it.

"First question," Sirius grins evilly. "Love bites. Discuss."

"Well, _I_ think they're right sexy," Tonks states, glancing dancing eyes up at Remus, "So long as it's not quite the full moon. Remus—?"

"—Would appreciate it if you'd stop encouraging the perverse mutt who used to be his mate, thanks." Remus groans.

Sirius smirks. "But if _you_ don't bite, Moony, then who gave my baby cousin that _obnoxious_ hickey?"

* * *

**  
A/N: Oh Sirius, do you have any idea how wildly entertaining you are? Reviewers get options today: _one_, to witness the rest of the above conversation, wherever it may lead, and pipe in your own two cents, or _two_, drag Sirius Black away from said conversation and occupy him elsewhere to save Remus's sanity.**


	84. How

_How_

"_You are barking mad!_"

Sirius looks as though he's very close to lobbing the silver tea service he'd been scrubbing in Remus' general direction.

"Stark barking mad! _You turned her down_? What in the name of Merlin's left eyebrow were you _thinking_?"

"I _was_ thinking," Remus darts back, "Which is more than I can say for you."

"I choose to ignore that zinger in the interest of saving your hide from my cousin, who's really quite upset at you at the moment and rather indiscriminating with her Joint-Reversal Jinx—"

"I can't be around her during the moon, Padfoot! Or have you forgotten that little technicality?" Remus snaps, quickly losing patience with the entire argument.

"Tell me how it makes any sodding difference," Sirius barks, and his last semblance of levity crashes through the floorboards. "You're her lover, not her father."

"Just because Nymphadora can morph herself canine doesn't mean she'll lose her human scent, or mannerisms, or—"

"_I do!_ Tonks can't be so different. Besides, you have your Wolfsbane, and _I'd_ be there for that, you thick stupid prat. You won't have the chance to do anything dangerous."

"Because transforming into a vicious monster isn't dangerous in the least."

"She wants to _help_ you, mate. How often do you find someone who cares enough to make that kind of offer?"

Remus doesn't answer.

"Not since James and me, I figured." Sirius's eyes narrow. "For once in your life, Remus, would it kill you to quit playing martyr?"

* * *

**  
A/N: Did I mention Remus hates it when Sirius is right? ;) Reviewers get to help Sirius and Remus clean up the grim old place, and help distract the men from cleaning, if that strikes your fancy.**


	85. New Year

_New Year_

Just before midnight, Remus leads her from the bustle of the party swirling in Number Twelve's core. The twins and Sirius raise their voices to count down the remaining minute of the year and Remus stops short as the rest of the group gathered in the kitchen joins the chant. Tonks bounds behind him, connected at their clasped hands, tipsy and gigging as she asks where exactly he's taking her when she barrels headlong into him, knocking the both of them backward several feet.

Remus smiles wickedly.

He pulls her flush against his chest and this is now a moment best not shared with the raucous crowd downstairs. With a yelp she is lifted and carried and bounced onto his bed, scooting backwards and shooting a few muffled wards at the door, laughing and shedding clothing as Remus pushes her back into his pillows. Lips are pulled to hungry lips as the forgotten party breaks into shouts and applause, muffled considerably by stairs and walls and doors and ears more finely-tuned to gasps and whispered teasing and each other.

* * *

**A/N: New Years came a little late this year, but this drabble is up there on my favorites list. Reviewers get to celebrate with the Order, minus those members you might not like much (or, the undesirable ones could be there specifically for harassment purposes with the twins, if you're so inclined)! P.S. I've heard Kingsley Shacklebolt is quite the dancer once you get a little champagne in him ;)**


	86. Death

_Death_

"Dora, I need you to stay here." Remus holds her arms at her sides, as much to keep her steady as to force her to listen, and she stumbles backward, fighting them free.

"Like hell, you do!"

Her eyes are bright with tears she refuses to shed in front of Bill.

Remus is acting like her father, like he can't trust her to hold herself together long enough to do what needs to be done. She wants nothing to do with his damned Gryffindor chivalry, not now, too blind with grief and rage to notice how his eyes demand nothing of her.

"I can do this."

"I know. But Alastor..." he sighs, raising one hand to cup her cheek. "You two were close. And…it was a long fall."

She is silent.

"If we find his body – I won't force you to remember him that way."

* * *

**  
A/N: I always found Remus to be unnaturally curt in the scene where Bill tells everyone about Mad-Eye's death, that Tonks seemed kind of out of character in not insisting that she go with them to recover his body. This was my attempt at reconciling JKR's work with my own personal canon. Reviewers tonight get to kick the asses of every death eater who made the Seven Potters maneuver excessively difficult for the Order without the danger of their fighting back.**


	87. Blue

_Blue_

Her carpet is blue.

Blue like her eyes were tonight, deep and dark, difficult to interpret. It's the color they turn when she's nervous.

Those eyes are closed now, but her arm dangles from the couch and her fingers—_she's still wearing his ring, he hadn't dared to hope she'd kept it_—her fingers weave with his, seeking some small comfort from physical touch. _His_ touch.

Remus watches her back rise and fall with her breath and wants so badly to pull her down beside him and feel that breath against his skin. But she doesn't trust him yet and rightfully so after all the harm he's done, and so he can merely be thankful for the place she's saved for him. Even if tonight it's only some pillows and blankets on the floor beside her couch. Like a dog.

Strangely, he doesn't resent this. He is not yet welcome again in her bed, but her fingers stay threaded with his and he knows that from now on his home will be wherever she is.

* * *

  
**A/N: I like to think it took Tonks some time to forgive Remus completely when he came home again in DH. I also like to think that, though she wouldn't want to let him all the way back in right away, she'd also be somewhat afraid to stay away from him, just in case. Trust would be something he'd have to earn all over again. Or, you could dismiss my rambling and just wait for tomorrow's drabble :P Reviewers get to fall asleep holding hands with whichever character strikes your fancy.**


	88. Sight

_Sight_

_Is that really…? _

Yes. Yes it is.

_No. Remus would never..._

Tonks leans over the bathroom sink.

_He did._

There is a…_hickey_…on her neck.

That certainly wasn't something she'd expected to see in the mirror this morning.

Tonks fingers the purple bruising just under her skin, not quite hidden by the collar of her shirt. She leans forward, looking closer, prodding at it a bit. It doesn't hurt, but it's darker than she'd originally thought. Nothing a focused Vanishing charm won't take care of, of course, but she stops with her wand only halfway drawn.

It won't go unnoticed, that's for sure, especially not with Mad-Eye trawling around Number Twelve barking about vigilance… Sirius's face swims gleefully in her mind. She can practically hear the ribbing already.

But…maybe she likes it that way.

* * *

  
**A/N: Prelude to #83, Club. She was right, Sirius' ribbing was forthcoming :P Reviewers get to join in the good-natured teasing, because Sirius shouldn't get to have all the fun, now, should he?**


	89. Spring

_Spring_

Remus sits up, lets the sheets slide down to pool around his hips. Early April sunlight edges her in gold, warm and glowing, almost ethereal. But his head rests in his hands. She watches him with questions in her eyes that go unanswered.

"Dora, we— I_ can't_—"

He watches her draw back, retracting the fingers she'd extended to rest on his arm. "Can't, Remus, or won't?"

She pulls the sheets up around herself, arms clutched against her chest.

Protective.

"Yesterday you wanted this," she says. "What makes this morning so different?"

He takes a deep breath.

"Nothing."

There's altogether too much hope in those eyes. He needs to stop this before he goes too far. He's already gone too far. He needs to leave. He needs to _think_.

"Then stay with me?"

Remus kisses her, perhaps against his better judgment. Or, perhaps this _is_ his better judgment; he can never tell with her. She hesitantly pulls him closer.

"Is this what you need of me, Dora?" he whispers, another kiss softer, a seal against her lips.

_Yes_.

* * *

**A/N: This drabble takes place in spring of OotP, hence the title. Remus is a little at war with himself at times, especially because he's been long enough in this relationship to know it won't be easy to get out of, should the need arise, though not far enough into it yet to know that she's the last chance he ever wants to take. Or so I imagine, anyway. The part of him on Tonks' side always wins out in the end, though. Reviewers get to linger a little longer after an enjoyable outing with the character of your choosing. **


	90. Yellow

_Yellow_

"You look nice in yellow." Molly says.

Tonks looks different. Not bad-different, but…strange. Very not-Tonks. The pink hair is the same, but she wears it a bit smoother than normal, held back from her face with a turquoise ribbon that matches the trim on her lemonade dress.

"Thanks, Molly." Tonks smoothes the front of the skirt, suddenly very aware of how out-of-place she must look. But she needs the advice and a bit of moral support, and Molly Weasley is the only one she trusts enough to tell it like it is.

Molly leans her elbow on the table. "You're antsy."

"Wouldn't you be if you had to bring your—" Tonks thinks for a second; _boyfriend_ just sounds like the wrong word for Remus, and _lover_ too intimate. "—_significant other_ to have dinner with your parents?"

Molly laughs, a knowing smile on her lips; it hadn't been a picnic introducing Arthur to the Prewett clan, either, thirty-odd years ago. "It's going to be _fine_, dear."

"I hope." Tonks fusses with her hair. "Mum's already up in arms about this thirteen-year business and she doesn't even _know_ about the wer—"

"Trust me," Molly answers, and Tonks freezes long enough to listen. "He really is good for you, they'll see." She pats the bench beside her, and Tonks slumps forward.

"You're happy with him." Molly pulls Tonks' slouching shoulders back, adjusts the ribbon in her hair. "Remus is a good man, and Andromeda's no fool. She'll come around."

_**A/N: Today I'm offering up my sincerest apologies for neglecting this fic for so long, and all reviewers are getting a lovely afternoon picnic outside with the character of your choice in honor of the beautiful weather here!**_


	91. Stars

_Stars_

_Door_, he thinks.

_Doorknob_. There is a doorknob jabbing into his back.

Remus can't honestly say he minds this turn of events, not with Nymphadora pressed so tantalizingly close and gliding her lips against his in ways that make him shiver and doubt the need to ever speak again if he'll have to disengage from her. He's surprised he notices the doorknob at all in the wake of a kiss like that, but vaguely feels it turn under his hand and sends them both reeling into her bedroom. He has to catch her closer to keep them from falling and they stumble backwards the last few feet until she has him backed against her bed, snatching breaths in the seconds she pulls away long enough to slide her hands beneath his shirt. He traces the skin exposed by the back of her dress; too much fabric, not enough touch.

From there on it's a race to see which trails of heat will reach where first as she pushes him back and stars burst behind his eyelids from whatever it is she's doing with her hands. He kisses her neck and the side of her face and her gasps against his skin speak more than he'll ever need to hear ever again.

* * *

**A/N: This one is set immediately post-#18,_ Home_, and immediately before #74, _Heart_, to complete the trio of drabbles I wanted for their wedding night. As always, I hope you liked it, and reviewers get to sit out one night under a meteor shower with whomever you so choose :)**


	92. Food

_Food_

He hurls the stone as far as he can, releases a yell that boils up and swells from molten fury in his core and he falls forward, braced with an arm against a tree.

_Coward_.

It reverberates in his soul, feeding the rage and the guilt already smouldering there.

_My father died trying to protect my mother and me, and you reckon he'd tell you to abandon your kid to go on an adventure with us?_

Echoes make his insides shift with a sickening lurch, bloody rage pooling with grief and the repugnant grey-green of shame.

_I'd never have believed this, the man who taught me to fight dementors – a coward. _

He leans his forehead against the bark, closes his eyes against the familiar woods he'd Transformed in as a boy, the shack he'd run to to hide.

He cannot blame the wolf for this. The wolf does not hide. The wolf only destroys.

But the man, Remus John Lupin…the man hides. Runs away. Forces distance between himself and those he loves.

Dora.

He loves her. He's left. And somewhere buried, closer to the surface than he can bring himself to admit, he knows it's killing her.

_Coward._

His jaw clenches. This is how the man in him destroys.

* * *

**A/N: In case anyone was wondering, the direction I went with "food" as the prompt was in a "fueling the fire" kind of context. He's feeding his own demons, or at least it made sense that way to me. Anyway, reviewers'll be invited to a full-out Weasley-style banquet at the Burrow tonight!**


	93. Snow

_Snow_

"Question for you, Dora."

Tonks whips around, still catching snowflakes on her tongue, and dances backward a few feet on the toes of her boots. She smiles from between a pair of fuzzy blue earmuffs and that ever-present lurid green scarf. "Yeah?"

Remus tries with all his might to keep the smirk out of his eyes, smiling innocently from beneath snow-dusted fringe, hands behind his back. "D'you wear white often?"

She gives him a smile tinged with just the slightest bit of sarcasm, gestures to that scarf of hers artfully mismatched with a violet and magenta plaid pea coat. "No, I don't reckon I do."

"You will now."

"_Wha—!_"

A snowball collides with her head. Bulls-eye, straight in the earmuff.

She'll kill him.

"You stupid great git! I'll give you _white_—!"

"Dora, you _can't_ tell me you didn't see that one c—_oof!_"

He laughs until she torpedoes headlong into his chest, toppling them backwards into a snow bank the size of the Knight Bus. She lands on top of him, perched on his stomach, and bounces once to wedge him in further.

"Say, Remus," she smirks, "I think white's your color." And with that she hops back to her feet and strolls away.

He stays there a minute, lodged in the snow, admiring the sway of her hips as she saunters off down the block. Tonks throws a glance over her shoulder, catches him staring, and laughs.

* * *

**A/N: I really like this one :) Reviewers get first choice of your team for a Wizarding snowball fight!**


	94. Desk

_Desk_

"No—Remus, don't—" Tonks stammers between kisses; he's got her held fast with an arm about her and one hand at her face, angling her lips to his. Her hands against his chest may have meant at one point to push him away, but have since forgotten their original purpose and rest there pinned instead.

"I won't—_hey!_" Remus pushes her backwards until her hip catches the side of some indeterminate furniture (neither has much of a mind to notice at the moment) and he takes advantage of this, leans her back onto a slanted surface that appears to belong to some sort of writing desk, all the better to kiss her with. Tonks bends to follow his body, comfortable against her, but her elbow knocks a holder full of quills to the floor and the protests continue.

"No, stop—Remus, I can't do this—" She sneaks glances at him after each kiss, "because I know—you're just going to pull away as soon as we start—" Her lips seek his now after every few words, hands sliding down to slip beneath his jumper, "doing anything more, and you know, I'm really very much in love with you, so it's—_extremely_ frustrating, and—"

He slides one hand down her back and his mouth silences the last of her objections. The hand that _isn't_ slipping into her back pocket reaches for his wand.

_Thank Merlin for silencing charms_.

…_Oh_. She gasps; that feels _nice_.

* * *

**A/N: Ahhh, the Grimmauld Library... ;) Reviewers get shut up in the library with whomever they choose. Just make sure one of you knows how to cast a mean silencing charm, first!**


	95. Book

_Book_

Tonks sometimes pages through the journal she'd bought him. Remus probably knows this and hasn't let on, but she's an Auror; _sneaky_ is her middle name. Or, it would've been, if Andromeda hadn't decided on "Vulpecula" first.

He's filled it a little more than halfway in the two years since they've known each other, mostly with stray notes or lists of books he'd enjoyed and would like to read again sometime.

She mostly looks for the sketches. About ten pages in he'd begun doodling around his lists, simple drawings of heirlooms Sirius hadn't yet destroyed, or thumbnails of people dawdling about the kitchen, nothing too special.

A little farther in, he'd started sketching _her_.

The early ones are innocent, quick things, each one dated; her profile, different hairstyles, laughing, reading in an armchair. A few months later come more intimate things, a sketch of a kiss he'd abandoned when he'd scribbled out most of his face, loose thumbnails of her curled in his lap, and one particular detailed drawing Tonks can't discuss in polite company. Or even in private, if she'd wanted to.

There's a nine-month gap in the dates, last August to May. His favorite photo of them is next, torn in half and taped whole again. Below it he'd taped a newer photograph, taken at their wedding, and a few pages past that sits a drawing she's never seen before.

She's wearing Remus's shirt, kissing Teddy's forehead. He's scrawled "_I love you_" underneath.

He knows. Tonks smiles.

* * *

**A/N: Reviewers get a sketch of anything they'd wish courtesy of RJ Lupin! :)**


	96. Dog

_Dog_

"_Snuffles_!" Tonks growls. "You get your sorry mutt behind back here, you great drooling…"

Sirius trots back towards the pair of them, tongue lolling happily out of his mouth, slobbering all over the leash between his teeth for added effect.

"Come when called, boy, or we can't take you out anymore. Don't go ruining things for yourself," Remus says a little more sweetly than Tonks' boldfaced admonition, but to that effect, Remus always had been very good at making nice tones sound extremely dangerous.

Sirius steps back a paw or two, mouth closing around the leash, and whines.

"Snuffles. Give Nymphadora th—"

_Thwack_.

Remus starts forward, scalp smarting. She's hit him upside the head with the Daily Prophet.

A _rolled-up_ Daily Prophet, no less.

"Bad dog. My name is Tonks."

Remus rubs the back of his head. "Dora, what the _deuce_ was that for?!"

Tonks smirks, scratching his ex-best mate behind one shaggy ear. To add insult to injury, Sirius wags his tail so hard he might just take off at any moment, plants his forepaws on Tonks' shoulders, and gives her a delighted, slobbering canine kiss.

"I'll train you yet, Professor. Just you wait."

* * *

**A/N: Reviewers get to take their favorite Marauding canine for a stroll around the park - whether or not they behave, though, is for you to find out! ;)**


	97. Empty

_Empty_

Sleep escapes him, and as Remus stares at the ceiling of their flat he can think of nothing but the dark. It's never particularly scared him in the past, but tonight…tonight is different.

His arm drapes around her, and yet he doesn't feel her anymore. Tonks is curled close against his side, and she'd fallen asleep holding him more tightly than he'd remembered her ever doing so before, though out of love or something else he isn't sure. He remembers her knees drawn up to her chest as she'd spoke, purple sleeves pulled down over her hands, and she'd never looked so painfully _young_ to him before. Young and afraid, a different person than the sure, strong woman he'd fallen in love with.

She's pregnant.

God, she's so young, and he's created something in her he can't bear to think about without thick, congealing waves of shame breaking in his blood and freezing as they course down through him. He wants to hold her, whisper that it'll all be alright, but all he can feel is the heavy pulsing of his own guilt and doesn't have the strength to lie to her anymore.

* * *

**A/N: This drabble is set hours after #41, _Why_. Reviewers get to give them both bear hugs and tell them it'll all be okay.**


	98. Mask

_Mask_

"You're different, you know?" Tonks says, tossing pink hair out of her face. "Like…I don't know how to say it, you're unassuming, or…something."

"Unassuming?" Remus asks, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He clasps his hands, looks at her sitting beside him. She's hugging her knees, shoes kicked off and toes curling in their yellow snidget socks.

"You don't have these preconceived notions about people, or expectations for them to live up to." Tonks fights for the right words. "You're easy to be with."

He stiffens just a bit, rubs the back of his neck.

…_to be with. _

She doesn't seem to notice, too busy staring pointedly at an interesting spot on the floor, but her eyes are vacant, lost in thought. "It's like…I don't need to hide when I'm with you, if that makes any sense. You don't look for me to change myself. I'm not used to that from people." She laughs once, quietly.

"It's…it's nice, Remus. So thank you."

"Why would I need you to change?" he asks, a half-smile curving his mouth.

"Well, it's more likeI don't _feel_ like I should change when I'm talking to you." Tonks tucks her legs beneath her. "I can be how I want for a bit, and you're okay with me. It doesn't…feel weird, with you."

"Good to know I keep the weirdness to a minimum," he laughs a little, and wishes she wouldn't make his insides flutter like that.

* * *

**A/N: I love pre-relationship cuteness :) ONLY TWO TO GO, and I'll be posting them both tomorrow in honor of the anniversary of Voldemort's defeat at the Battle of Hogwarts. Reviewers get an afternoon on the couch with the character(s) of their choice, to do whatever it is they so choose!**


	99. Ends

_Ends_

"Aunt Molly? Can I ask you something?"

"Absolutely, Teddy. Anything at all," Molly beckons for the eleven-year-old to scoot his chair further into the shade of Fortescue's awning. He absently twirls his spoon in the dregs of his sundae.

"You knew my mum and dad, didn't you?"

Molly starts a bit. "Yes, dear," she says, a question in her smile. "I knew them."

"D'you think…you could tell me what they were like?" His big brown eyes are guarded, braced already for a "no."

"Teddy, don't you think that's a question for your—?"

"Grandmum won't talk much about Dad, and Harry never really knew Mum well enough."

Teddy shakes turquoise fringe into his face, hiding his eyes, and Molly softens. Just like his father, that one.

"Listen to me," she says, and Teddy looks up, a little more light in his eyes. _There_, there's a little of Dora.

"Your father was a brilliant wizard. He taught Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts, and I don't know of one student who didn't adore him. He was the bravest man I ever knew."

Teddy smiles a little.

"And your mum? She could brighten up a whole room just by standing at the door! She was a great Auror, and a right good shot, too – could hex your knees backwards from a mile away." Molly takes his hand. "Your mum and dad loved you more than life, Teddy, and they fought harder than anyone so you could grow up happy."

* * *

**A/N: Only one more left! I'll post #100 later tonight. Reviewers get to take Teddy out for ice cream :)**


	100. Lovers

_Lovers_

Tonks stops halfway down the hall and whips around, her face set and intense as she turns to face him.

"What _are_ you?"

Remus startles backwards; she sounds exasperated. "I beg your—?"

"Well, I can't rightly call you my _boyfriend,_ now, can I?" She smiles now, trailing mischievous eyes up and down the length of him. "Because I know for a fact that you are nothing less than _every inch_ a man."

"Significant other?" he offers.

"Too old-fogey sounding. Like I'm some Ministry officewitch having an affair or something." Tonks taps her lips with a finger. "_Sweetheart_'s too juvenile. Prue calls you That-Guy-I've-Been-Seeing, but that makes it sound like a casual thing. It doesn't convey nearly enough of that I-can't-even-imagine-my-life-without-you-anymore feeling."

"How about lover?"

She stops for a moment to look at him, _really_ look at him. He's tucked his hands into trouser pockets, messy fringe hiding his eyes in that achingly shy, boyish way she loves. It's sweet and sexy and for just a second she can't believe Remus had ever paused to give _her_, clumsy, bumbling Tonks, a passing thought so many months ago. She closes the distance between them, fishes his hands from his pockets.

"Hey," Tonks slides her palms up his arms, "Kiss me?"

Remus rests his hands at her hips, traces her nose with his. His fringe tickles her face. "What about—?"

But she silences him with a finger at his lips. "I've heard it's what lovers do."

* * *

**A/N: I know, I know, way to end on a cheesy note. But in all seriousness, I had the best time writing these drabbles, and I really, sincerely hope you've enjoyed reading them. Please feel free to let me know if there were things I got wrong, or any issues you had with my characterization; I'll take any crit I can get. Also, THANK YOU ALL SO, SO, SO MUCH for your reviews along the way! Whenever I stalled on this fic (and I stalled a LOT), I'd go back and read the things you pointed out you liked and didn't like, and went from there. You're the best!!! **

**And as always, reviewers get VIP invitations to the Wizarding Independence Day celebration at Hogwarts, complete with the entire Wizarding cast of your choosing!**


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